Ah, everyone is sounding very much like themselves, that is, unless they are really somebody else who has been here before and came back with a different persona..er..profile, from a different state, a different time. x;-)
Leslie, I'm actually from the future here to observe you rubes. But, I must follow the prime directive and not interfere with changing the course of history, but I am allowed to participate at a low level. I will tell you this much - you won't believe what happens to Don in 5 years.
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-08-04 AT 06:55AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Let me guess: I've purchased MLSmith and fired the whole lot. All you guys are the new fat cats on those large salaries in those plush Brentwood offices. Lunch is two hours (had to reign that in), we start promptly at 9:30 and go home at 2:00. We had to get things under control. Ritaanz is in charge of the censorship board. Parabeagle was retained as parking lot attendant. S Moll is in charge of snappy-dress code and is charged with the responsibility of taking the company from pin striped dress suits to 'Daisy Dukes'. Rockie is in charge of the meds cabinet. Mel is in charge of, well she works so rarely I'm not sure. Marc is in charge of the philosophical meanderings department. Leslie and Rindercella are on the screening committee for errant posts. Paul is in charge of the alert button which is being phased out on day 2. I've got a long list of jobs and your names but can't list you all right now. Applications are available at the counter for the rest of you. What job would you like or recommend for someone else? Crout is behind the 'cynicism to reality desk'. Pork is the cafeteria manager. SMace is working the 'multiple personality' booth. PS: James was allowed to keep the lemonade stand out by the front gate near the oaks but is required to roll the profits back into the main breakroom. His reward will be seeing us pull into the gate each morning at 9:30. All travel funds and expense accounts are cancelled, credit cards are voided and personal computer privileges are continued but at a higher level.
(edit): Ray is in charge of our union avoidance initiative.
I know Ray, but they do help your delusions about the role of women and being from the future.. .and besides, laid back can be a good experience for yankees x:D
Hey -- what about me? As the only AAAF (well, I guess I don't really know that), let's make sure I have a cushy up-front position. Let's see, I am really good at seeing all sides, so maybe I had better balance out Ritaanz. My title will be Chief of Anti-Censorship Board.
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-08-04 AT 09:55AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Yeah, Ray. Don is a very clever fellow -- so he can work for me and control the whole darn company. I'm off to California with Gillian -- could use the sunshine. Bye Bye
WOW!! This one is hard to follow. I am new so I have a couple of questions to ask. Is there ever a cut off to a particular thread? I have been reading these comments and long ago forgot what the original post was and who posted it. Forgotten what all the tangents in the threads are too! Most of the comments are enlightning and helpful but as a "Newbie" this thread I think has reached it limit in usefulness. Just my opinion.
The beauty of the forum is the pure, unadulterated hijacking of threads that occurrs on a consistent basis. Usefulness is a term we don't concern ourselves with around here. 8-}
Speaking of hijacking... we were discussing Don's future and National Guard changed the subject. NG, you've been assimilated. You're one of us, no longer a newbie.
So I am in charge of the Alert button but that is being phased out on Day two so that means...
Hey, wait a minute!
No problem, I will just start up another forum where we just talk about our feelings and everyone is nice to eachother. There will be five different HR De Har Har forums and only one employment forum. I will have our technical guys create settings where words like "HIPAA" and "ADA" are not even allowed to be typed.
The beauty of this site is that anyone has the right to express their opinion about anything even if it has nothing to do with the original topic. The real purpose is to test your memory (how long can you go before discovering you have no idea what the topic is). And now, if I have thoroughly confused you, I have successfully achieved the third purpose of this site. x:D Oh yeah, we also try to educate and help each other out (but not always).
This title is much better than heading up the Department of Redundancy Department. I seem to have gotten that one under control. I hope I can live up to the expectations. California might not be the best place to have our headquarter - maybe some offshore floating casino would accomodate us? Then we could make up some great HR policies - by the way, who heads up HR in this venture?
Gillian: You're in charge of exit interviews for all of the current MLSmith staff. Have you noticed that none of them are applying for their former positions? I would like for you to extend an offer to each of them so they will be UI disqualified for not accepting work. Sound the 'Warn Act' horn if you need to. Use Ray's rusty slide horn.
OK, they are all expected to show up at my house in Fallbrook, Ca. at 2:00 AM next Sunday morning. If they don't show we will assume that they are resigning without good reason.
Announcement: Leslie has been promoted to Executive VP of events, gifting, parades, luncheons, happy hours and the massage parlor on the lower level. She is also responsible for the adult novelties and toys store and the wedding chapel near the gazebo. Please join us in congratulating Leslie on her new assignment.
Comments
(edit): Ray is in charge of our union avoidance initiative.
PS. Thanks to Maggie for returning. Anyone else notice LV's profile is again disabled. Weird.
Pook - Evil Shadow (he wanders around behind the rest of us, stirring up trouble)
Pork - VOLUME CONTROL ENFORCEMENT
Leslie - Parking Lot Race Coordinator (will use Monte Carlo as the pace car. Mileage to be paid in casino tokens.)
ray a - Lunch room music provider. I prefer something jazzy.
Don D - Minutes Recorder at all meetings. Primary responsibility: add color and excitement to otherwise dull functions.
Hey, wait a minute!
No problem, I will just start up another forum where we just talk about our feelings and everyone is nice to eachother. There will be five different HR De Har Har forums and only one employment forum. I will have our technical guys create settings where words like "HIPAA" and "ADA" are not even allowed to be typed.
And BTW Connecticut Yankees are pretty laid back and we have several casinos here in CT with the ferry going back and forth to NY.
James Sokolowski
HRhero.com