Office romance

msmith · June 2001

I just finished reading How can I deal with office romance? You mentioned removing the subordinate employee to a new position. Can you legally request the subordinate employee to terminate their position?

Gar · June 2001

It wouldn't hurt to get the parties together in private and advise them that you and perhaps others are aware of the romance and that appearances are very important. Otherwise, I suggest that unless there is evidence of inappropriate behavior as a result of the romance, the counseling session is as far as you or anyone else should go. Anyone else with a view on this?

Margaret Morford · June 2001

I agree with Gar as long as one of these people doesn't report to another. If they do, the company could have all kinds of employee morale problems as well as legal ones, particularly if this couple hits "love on the rocks" at some point down the road. While I think office romanaces are a way of life in the workplace, I do think companies ought to discourage romances between people who report to each other, much the same way you usually do not let family members report to each other. Many companies have put in a non-fraternization policy to prohibit members of management from being romantically involved with anyone they supervise directly or indirectly. I'll be glad to provide you with a model of the policy if you're interested. I can be reached at 615-371-8200.

Margaret Morford
theHRedge

Mike Maslanka · June 2001

if anyone ever finds themselves in an office romance,do yourself,your other,and your company a favor---decide between you and your other if you want to take your relationship to the next level and,if so,decide that one of you should leave...if not,especially if one of you is a supervisor,you'll find the stress too much(you'll ask yourself,am i being ethical,how i can hide this from others,etc.),and you'll end up with both a job that suffers as well as a relationship...and you know what,jobs come and go,you'll have plenty of chances at a career,but much fewer at love...regards from texas,mike maslanka

Confused · October 2001

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 10-30-01 AT 03:15PM (CST)[/font][p]What would you do if the relationship was say between the CEO and Director of HR and the director directly reports to the CEO?

tfevergrn · October 2001

YIKES !!!!!!

Don Avery · November 2001

Nothing, unless I happened to be the Board Chairman or owner of the business.

cxc · June 2001

I would appreciate receiving the sample policy referenced in your message. Thanks Claire Cordon [email]CCordon@kellerrohrback.com[/email]

Rockie · June 2001

At our medical practice, we recently put a non-fraternization policy in place discouraging people from becoming romantically involved with those people they work with. Physicians are also discourged from this practice. If a relationship develops, the practice will take whatever action they feel necessary if the relationship in question creates a conflict of interest, causes legal liability or presents concerns regarding supervision, safety, security or morale. Supervisors are prohibited from supervising any employee they become romantically involved with. It is the supervisor's responsibility to advise HR or the CEO that such a relationship has developed.

In my years of experience in this area, I have seen some very ugly situations develop such as when a relationship goes sour, the affect on morale in a department if a supervisor is dating a subordinate, etc. and the list goes on and on.

But, you also have to be aware that people are people and these things are going to happen at work. The important thing is not to force the subordinate party into resigning, transferring, etc. Advise the parties that the relationship is causing problems and what the problems are. Let them make the decision as to who will transfer, resign, etc. If they can't make a decision or won't, then we advise that both resign.

Employees are well advised of this policy as well as our harassment policy, both in our handbook as well as a written policy given to them at new employee orientation.

Hope this helps.

Gillian · June 2001

I agree with Gar. I suppose I may be biased a bit, but my 27 year marriage started with an office romance and I was in HR (personnel at the time). I don't think that you can stop them because when people want to get romantically involved they will, whether the employer wants it or not, or whether there are non-fraternization policies or not.

The concern should be focused where the real problems are - reporting relationships, managers who don't understand that dating employees can create problems, romantically involved people who are not discreet,etc. At the stage described in the original message, all that is appropriate is to advise the employees of potential problems and then address them if they arise.

Margaret Morford · June 2001

Just to clarify, I recommend a non-fraterization policy that prohibits managers from being romantically involved with people who report directly or indirectly to them. I agree that office romances are common, particularly since people spend most of their time at work. It's the natural place to meet someone. Even managers can date people at work under this policy, but not those in their chain of command, for obvious reasons. The person that gets disciplined under this policy is the manager,not the subordinate, because it was the manager that violated the non-fraterization policy.

Margaret Morford
theHRedge

tfevergrn · June 2001

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 06-21-01 AT 10:31AM (CST)[/font][p]Margaret,

I would really appreciate a sample copy of your non-fraternization policy. If you need my email address, please contact me through my mailbox here. Thanks....

Office romance

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