Embarrassing children/parent moments
Leslie
1,729 Posts
I posted this to the end of another thread, and then thought it could be a great topic in and of itself. Whether you were the embarrassor or the embarrassee, let's hear it!
It was January of 1996. The casino I still work at was involved with the Fiesta Bowl. At the time I was in Marketing, and I was invited to a governor's ball. Being single, I asked my 19-year old son who was home on Christmas break to attend with me.
So we're standing in line with all the dressed up ladies and gents, waiting to enter. My son looks at me and states quite eloquently (and loudly), "So ma'am, how long have you been using the escort service?"
He turned 27 yesterday and is lucky to have lived that long.
It was January of 1996. The casino I still work at was involved with the Fiesta Bowl. At the time I was in Marketing, and I was invited to a governor's ball. Being single, I asked my 19-year old son who was home on Christmas break to attend with me.
So we're standing in line with all the dressed up ladies and gents, waiting to enter. My son looks at me and states quite eloquently (and loudly), "So ma'am, how long have you been using the escort service?"
He turned 27 yesterday and is lucky to have lived that long.
Comments
Last night I got my HR Hero T-Shirt in the mail and I held it up for my wife and son to see. My wife rolled her eyes and my son asked me where I was going to wear it. I assume he wants to be as far from me as possible.
And imagine...they wouldn't even give their dear old mom a kiss goodbye. x:o
Thank goodness the couple ahead of us were also from the casino. They started howling. I turned red and exclaimed, "Joshua David!"
Anyone in line who was a parent knows what it means when mom uses your first and middle name. And if they didn't figure it out - oh well. Here was a 41-year-old woman with a very nice looking young man. x;-)
She also tells me that when I was 4 years old, we were sitting behind this woman in church. Back then one popular thing women wore to church was those animal fur things (mink or something) that looped around their necks in a circle and they were two animals sewed together at the tails and they joined at the heads. At least this is how I recall those horrid things. Anyway, I was entranced by this object right in front of me and had no inclination anyway to follow the sermon. I hollered out in church, "Momma! That things's got a head on both ends!!"
Another day in church, as we were walking out, the preacher would always stand on the steps and shake hands and smile (probably trying to get an invite for fried chicken lunch). He smiled at me and said, "Don, tell me, what did you learn today?" "I learned your watch is about 15 minutes slow, at least that's what my daddy said."
My 3 1/2 year old son developed some sort of insect bite on his "private parts" that caused his "member" to swell to about 10 times the normal size. I was quite concerned, as was my husband who said he had only seen something like that in guys in the Army who had, as he called it, "the bull head clap." We took him to the doctor who diagnosed it as an insect bite, gave him tons of antihystimine, and said it would swell for another three or four days. Of course, we were embarking on our yearly family vacation to the hinterlands of Illinois the very next day. Throughout the days, being consciencious parents, we would check his "progress" using anatomically correct language. When we arrived in Illinois, we paid a visit to my 91-year-old great Aunt, who although homebound, is in perfect possession of her eyesight and hearing.
The first thing my son says to dear old Aunt Helen is: "Do you want to see my BIG FAT PENIS?" Before we could do anything, he whips off his shorts and proudly shows it to her. I was so mortified I was praying the floor would swallow me up.
Later, my grandmother reports that my Great-Aunt called her and said, "Never in all my years of training as a nurse has anyone used such vulgar language to me." She went on to tell my grandmother that it was obviously NOT an insect bite, that we must have "caught his member" in a toilet seat! Now I'm not sure whether to be embarassed by his outburst, or concerned that my aunt thinks we torture him! Oy.
Anne Williams
Attorney Editor
M. Lee Smith Publishers, LLC
BTW, I'm making plans to visit Phoenix toward the end of August - should be there for about 1 week.
Did I make you nervous?
Anne Williams
Attorney Editor
M. Lee Smith Publishers, LLC
"One bourbon, One Scotch, and one beer......"
and then preceeded to tell them about his dad and his "daddy drink".
I think our family went on several prayer lists that day.
And Ray, if you're really intent on the mosquito thing, you best do so before your trip. They're in short supply in AZ - but we're not complaining!
And Don - gosh, I just don't know what to say. Rita, you got it right.
My 3 year old "got excited" one day and ran around the house yelling "look at my GREAT BIG HUGE PEEPEE!" It starts early, apparently. I'm hoping this will never happen in public.
He also enjoys pointing out various bodily functions, especially his Daddy's gassy ones. Fortunately Daddy refrains from this particular function in public.
It seems most of these memories are not really mine but are dependent on my mother's (old) memory. When I was in third grade, the teacher called her at home to tell her she was concerned...really sorry that our family only had balogna sandwiches for Thanksgiving. "What are you talking about, " my mother asked, "We had a seven course meal with homemade pies and every dish you can imagine." The teacher explained that the first day of school after Thanksgiving she went around the room asking each kid to "Tell the class what you and your family had for Thanksgiving lunch at your house". Hell, our Thanksgiving feast was that NIGHT at dinner and SHE ASKED WHAT WE HAD FOR LUNCH!
Anne Williams
Attorney Editor
M. Lee Smith Publishers, LLC