strange excuses for missing work

Employee said his toe got caught in the sheet and he couldn’t get out of bed.

I have to go and give my horse an enema.

My pet rat died (next day employee came in with a rat tattooed to her leg)

Employee called in sick on a Friday saying she had to have ‘brain surgery’ but would probably be in on Monday or Tuesday.

I couldn’t get a ride and since my parents are ‘kinda hippies,’ I follow their lead and carpool versus driving myself.

Employee can’t come to work because the spider bite she got made her immunocompromised so she couldn’t be around other people who may be sick.

Employee called in absent because he lost the keys to his car. On day two, he called in and said that a gopher took the keys to his car.

What is the strangest excuse you have ever heard?


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  • An employee said that his car was stuck in the garage because the remote to the garage door wouldn't work. He didn't seem to know that we were smart enough to figure out that there is an opener in the garage or he could pull the cord to open the door.

    He also had an excuse that he couldn't leave his house because it would take him all day to shovel the driveway. This was when we had about an inch of snow.
  • We had an intern who didn't show up or call in for 3 days. When he came in, he told me he went to New York with some buddies who decided to stay longerthan the weekend and his cell phone died, so he couldn't call. I haven't been there in awhile, but does New York no longer have telephones??
  • [QUOTE=kdigangi;722120] I haven't been there in awhile, but does New York no longer have telephones??[/QUOTE]

    ...and did the phones of his buddies all die too?
  • I won a contest on HR HERO one time for our employee's excuse for oversleeping and being late to a dishwashing shift:

    "I dreamed I was already here."

    That's a direct quote from his signed infraction notice.
  • The most questionable excuse I was ever given was from an ee who said his grandmother had died -- for the third time in as many months.

    The most questionable one I ever gave was that I had an allergic reaction to Blistex. My boss didn;t believe me so I had to go in to prove that it happened by showing her my very swollen lips. I was in my early twenties at the time and worked in a shopping mall in Atlanta. It looked so bad that I scared little children on my way in and back out. The store manager took one look at me and gasped. It took about a week for the swelling to go down completely. I still can't use Blistex, Chap Stick, or most lipsticks. I can, however use Burt's Bees lip balm. Great stuff!

  • Years from now, Chapstik is going to save Sharon a bundle on collagen injections!
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