LITTLE RED HEN

Don D · September 2004

The Little Red Hen

> Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas, there was a little red hen
> who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few
> grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said,
> "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me
> plant it?"
> "Not I," said the cow.
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Not I," said the pig.
> "Not I," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she
> did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
>
> "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
>
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Out of my classification," said the pig.
> "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
> "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.

>
> At last it came time to bake the bread.
>
> "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
>
> "That would be overtime for me," said the cow
> "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
> "I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
> "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
> loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted
> some and, in fact, demanded a share.
>
> But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."
>
> "Excess profits!" cried the cow.
> "Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
> "I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
> The pig just grunted in disdain.
>
> And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and
> around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
>
> Then a government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must
> not be so greedy."
>
> "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
>
> "Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise
> system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
> wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive
> workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy
> and idle."
>
> And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen,
> who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."
> But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her.
> She never again baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her
> bread free.
>
> And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.
> Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; perhaps no one
> cared, as long as there was free bread. >