Office jokes

Bernice had been employed at the same office for over 50 years and was the boss’s top secretary. Everyone was jealous of her. Every day when Bernice showed up for work she would open the drawer to her left, peek inside, and then lock it. When she finally died, her coworker Sandy, who was dying of curiosity, made it her mission to figure out what was in that drawer.

After days of searching she finally found the key. Sweating with excitement she slowly opened up the drawer. Inside was a folded piece of paper. Slowly she reached inside and took it out, while cautiously looking over her shoulder. After a few seconds of trepidation she opened it up.

It said the following “Put only one spoonful of sugar in the boss’s coffee."

Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.” After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.

“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?” “The electric company, water company, and phone company.”

The business I work for had a dinner together with all family members. Before the first speech, the emcee gave the following announcement, “we kindly ask if you can please put all cell phones and children on vibrate."
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