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Men are just happier people...

KSR6450KSR6450 574 Posts
in HR Water Cooler Vote Up0Vote Down
[SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]Since the thread about Male vs Female managers focused on some skillsets that are attributable to a certain gender (or not); I thought it might be fun to look at some of the other differences between the genders...[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]NICKNAMES[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]EATING OUT[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]MONEY[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[*][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]BATHROOMS[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]ARGUMENTS[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A woman has the last word in any argument.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]FUTURE[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]SUCCESS[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A successful woman is one who can find such a man.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]MARRIAGE[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]DRESSING UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]NATURAL BEAUTY[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]Women somehow deteriorate during the night.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS]OFFSPRING[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]A man is vaguely aware of some short people who look like them living in the house.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
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[B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]THOUGHT FOR THE DAY[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial]
[B][COLOR=navy][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=navy]A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]
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