A Case of the Mondays
NeedCoffee
595 Posts
A la Office Space, I have a BAD case of the Mondays. Anyone else? And it is only 8:45.
NeedCoffee
595 Posts
Comments
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At least it worked for me but I'm easy to please.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
> the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
>
> The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
>
> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
> sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
> very, very high up.
I mustered up the energy to click on the link, but it didn't help my "mondaze" because my speakers are turned off. If I turn them on, everyone will know that I'm not working as hard as I appear to be.
Dang.
My only saving grace is that I get to leave at 2pm today.
When you clicked on it, the screen instantly changed to look like you were sending an e-mail through Outlook. Click on it again and the Survivor video starts up where you left off.
Tsk tsk...
Water & Wine
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the
end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of
Escherichia coli, (E. c oli) - bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has
to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or
fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore:
It's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of shift(sp).
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
So, today we all had the "Mondays". Whats our excuse going to be tomorrow?
Maybe it's "Tuesday Ditto Monday" Either way we are off to a bad start...SOAP...
Better knock on wood.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas . In my favorite case, a
concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident & I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for
the Queen of England.
The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both
legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs.
Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train, traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's arss.
I was able to put them together and now she's running for President!"
This one's dedicated to Paul and Q:
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the First grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on, " NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."
She then asked little Alec what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,
"Winnie the SHIFT(sp)".
It was very cute until she got to one particular line which unfortunately she repeated several times. I am not sure how the line was supposed to read but she read it very loudly and clearly:
"What a shi**y dream!"