To hell with it - here's a Friday Funny

NeedCoffee

Sorry if this pisses anyone off. If you are angered easily or get really testy when people talk about Democrats, here's a simple solution - DON'T READ IT.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Democratic National Convention Agenda

DNC – Planned Schedule of Events

7:00 PM. Opening flag burning.

7:15 PM. Pledge of allegiance to the U.N.

7:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:30 - 8:00 PM. Nonreligious prayer and worship by Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 PM. Ceremonial tree hugging.

8:15 – 8:30 PM. Gay Wedding – Barney Frank presiding.

8:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 PM. Free Saddam Rally by Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.

9:00 PM. Keynote speech – “The proper etiquette for surrender” by French President Jacques Chirac.

9:15 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 PM. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.

9:30 PM. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay by Sean Penn.

9:40 PM. “Why I Hate the Military,” a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.

9:45 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:50 PM. Dan Rather is presented the Truth in Broadcasting Award, presented by Michael Moore.

9:55 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:00 PM. “How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center towers” by Howard Dean.

10:30 PM. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.

11:00 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 PM. Al Gore reinvents the Internet.

11:15 PM. “Our Troops are War Criminals” by John Kerry.

11:30 PM. Coronation of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

12:00 AM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:05 AM. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.

marc

The last one is the capper!

ray a

Think I'll send this to some of my liberal friends. Their reaction should give me another laugh. I agree with Marc, the last one is the best.

NeedCoffee

I should have added:

"Bill finds a cute intern and asks Ted to drive Hillary home."

ray a

Or....
The last entry for Kennedy should have been "Ted Kennedy is toasted...and proposes to Hillary."

Paul in Cannon Beach

Ok, that was funny.

Elizabetharess

There's nothing about dead children. Cindy Sheehan lost a child to Irag. I got a laugh out of all of it except that. Nothing is funny about our dead children.

NaeNae55

I sympathize with Cindy Sheehan and anyone who has every lost a child or had their child suffer. There is nothing more painful to endure.

Yet, losing a child doesn't give you extra rights or a free ride. We give a little leeway, but that's it. She set herself up as a public figure when she rallied people around her to support her point of view (and she was very successful). At first we gave her grace because of her loss, but it has gone on too long to keep saying so. Now she is a political figure and that makes her fair game.

Nothing in the joke list spoke about her loss. Instead she is referred to in a political context in a political joke. As I said, fair game.

Just my opinion.


Nae

ray a

Good point, Nae. The Iraq War has created a lot of turmoil. There is nothing humorous about dead soldiers, but sometimes we must find humor even in some of our darkest experiences to maintain a sense of humanity and perspective. Cindy Sheehan long ago crossed the line of concerned parent to political figure.

Elizabetharess

There is nothing funny about our dead children...

marc

We laugh because it hurts.

SMace

There's nothing funny about TK killing a young woman. There's nothing funny about alcoholics. There's nothing funny about adultery.

FYI, jokes make light of difficult situations to help us cope.

ray a

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 12-07-06 AT 10:41AM (CST)[/font][br][br]SMace, you left out Hillary. Are you implying there is something funny about her?

SMace

BTW this post was intended as a joke and it said so.

I'm guessing you have a political agenda. If you do, start another post. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.

Paul in Cannon Beach

Who are you talking to, Smace? I am confused.

SMace

Elizabeth

Paul in Cannon Beach

I suppose its only natural to ridicule our leaders, especially those we disagree with.

Some on the left could write a very similar joke making fun of conservatives. Its not hard to imagine...

These days, with the situation in Iraq and the growing threat of Islamic radicalism across the globe, people like Michael Moore and Ted Kennedy just dont bother me anymore.

Minor squabbles about taxes, social agendas, and the like seem unimportant in light of the real threats that exist in the world today. These enemies threaten not only our "way of life" but our very lives themselves.

ray a

Because of the rise in terrorism and the increase in religious conflict especially in the Middle East, Africa and Europe, people like Michael Moore and Ted Kennedy bother me more than ever. Compared to other lands we have been spared much of the violence associated with the religious conflicts, but it can and most likely will spread to the US. People like Moore and Kennedy will have a greater say in the policies we establish that will define how we respond to global terrorism and its effect on us. These guys are more dangerous than ever.

ray a

For Elizabeth:

A friend sent me a link to an interesting article speaking of Enlightenment and our age. This is an interesting quote from that article.

"(W)e think the soldier funny in his desert camouflage and Kevlar, a loser who drew poorly in the American lottery and so ended up in Iraq — our most privileged never acknowledging that such men with guns are the only bulwark between us and the present day forces of the Dark Ages with their Kalashnikovs and suicide belts."

NeedCoffee

As originally stated with my post - this is a JOKE!!! No, Elizabeth, there is nothing funny about dead babies, and nothing was ever said in the joke about dead babies. As stated previously in this thread, Cindy Sheehan has become a political figure and is treated as such in this joke, just as President Chirac, Sean Penn, Ted Kennedy, and the two Mr. Clintons. I have seen similar jokes about Republicans and Independents too - and I laugh!!! Jokes are meant to amuse, not raise your hackles.

If we cannot remove ourselves from reality every once in a while and have a laugh at our own expense, than THAT really is the tragedy of our times. I don't think anyone on this forum ever means to intentionally trivialize what is going on in this world. Laughter is the best medicine...we need it to heal and to deal with rough situations.

The beauty of this forum is that we have a place to be serious, and a place to be funny, hence the HR-De-Har-Har. So yuk it up people - it's Friday and it's finally cold in Texas!

ray a

How cold is it in Texas????????

NeedCoffee

Well, we started out in the 20s this morning and the high is 48 - I'd prefer a HIGH in the 20s, but I'll take what I can get here!

It's cold enough for me to put on a coat (for maybe the 4th time this year) and for people to drive like idiots...and there's not even ice or water on the roads! I think people in TX actually believe that its harder to drive when its cold outside...I blame it on all the BBQ gone to their heads.

Paul in Cannon Beach

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 12-08-06 AT 11:53AM (CST)[/font][br][br]The thought of Ted Kennedy hitting on Hillary is pretty amusing.

By the way, on the radio they were giving out "advice" for how to behave at company christmas parties.

1. Dont do anything stupid.
2. Think of the party as an extension of the workplace.
3. If you do something stupid, apologize quickly.

ray a

It was 12 degrees this morning in NY. Doncha love it when you can outbrag a Texan?

NeedCoffee

Not fair!!! I'm so jealous! Send some of that down this way! Next week it's going to be back in the 70s x:'(

HRinGA

It was supposed to get up to 44 today, but last I checked, it was 33. Supposed to get down to around 15 tonight. In Georgia, that's what we call "colder than a witch's titty!"

marc

>It was supposed to get up to 44 today, but last
>I checked, it was 33. Supposed to get down to
>around 15 tonight. In Georgia, that's what we
>call "colder than a witch's titty!"

We always ended that with "...in a brass bra."

ray a

My daughter is living in northern Georgia and they had snow this week.

HRinGA

SHHH! Don't say the "s" word. The entire city will shut down and everyone flocks to the grocery stores to buy bread and milk. You'd think it was the end of the world.