Washington travel inquiries

Whirlwind

This is long but -- hopefully -- worth it.

These are allegedly from a Washington, D.C. Travel Agent with 30 years experience:

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ..... (click).

A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!"

I got a call from a lawmakers wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An Aide for a Clinton cabinet member once called and asked if they could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed they had only a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight, I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!!"

A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted!!!

There you have it....the state of the union.

hhaynal

Scary, very scary. Maybe instead of providing copies of the Constitution to cabinet members, we ought to give them a Rand-McNally?

atrimble

Why? It's obvious from the list above that that would be as much of a waste as giving them copies of the Constitution. I think we should give them all a direct one-button link to the nearest travel agent.

marc

Our representatives, and perhaps the people they hire who volunteer for them, are supposed to reflect the will of the people. Perhaps they also reflect the average intelligence of the people the represent.

I guess that means that lots of voters are not so bright.

atrimble

Oh, no! Surely not! x;-)

Actually, I personally believe that you have to be somewhat less than bright to even consider a job in Washington (whether it's in or for the government or not!). Would any sane person deliberately do something for which they KNOW they'll be underpaid and criticised and ridiculed at every turn, by millions of people? Other than standup comedians, that is.

x:D

Shadowfax

Underpaid? I don't see the vast majority of government workewrs as underpaid. Now, you can argue, perhaps, that cabinet members and that echelon are underpaid by market standard, but the congress, their aides, staffs and the hordes of civil service bureaucrats are not, in my view, underpaid. In my own community, everyone wants to work for the county, because from the jfiling clerk on up, the pay and benefits aare far and away above market. We regularly lose trained, experienced secretaries to the local govmt, and they significantly increase their pay. The retirement and life long medical benefits are of themselves, a good reason to get on the public dole. My sister in law has worked 33 years in DC as a g-?, she has a masters degree in social work, and when she retires next year, she goes out with her salary continued for life. And I ofter wonder if she really has anything to do, because she spenmds hours on the phone with family on the Govmt's dime, and no family function is too insignificant or too far away for her to take off work and visit. Just my observation.

atrimble

You do have some good points. My particular employment situation (for a local governmental entity) is quite different than working for larger governments, I guess. I've still got guys working for less than $20K after eight years of service (at an average 3% merit raise each year). I do recognize that to get a job "at the City" or "at the University" is a major goal of a large percent of the populace here. But unless you've got those initials after your name (e.g. BA-PA, MS-BA, PhD), you still make only a living wage. The benefits for the City/University (and our agency) are supposed outweigh the low level of income. However, we do not offer a lifetime pension, nor do we offer any other post-retirement benefits, so working for us isn't really "getting a government job" if all the perks you listed define "working for the government." I feel that all but three people out of 68 here are sorely underpaid. But we have to work on a budget handed down from the federal level, so three levels (federal, regional, state) of the higher ups get their shares before passing the dregs on to us, I guess. And I'm pretty sure there are more of us working for local governmental entities than those getting a check directly from the state or federal government. Of course, we can be considered a not-for-profit segment of public industry, too...

(Sorry - that all sounds kinda' bitter, don't it?)

atrimble

My apologies, Whirlwind. This was supposed to be a fun thread that I've turned into a self pity-driven martyrdom tirade. I'll stop that line of thought, if you wish.

Shadowfax

Ditto Whirlwind, but Atrimb made me do it! I did enjoy the travel fun pokes, and don't we all just love to see the arrogant and self important make fools of themselves.

Whirlwind

Trimble and Shadow -- Go for it! x:-) As one who toils for the gov't, I'm on my short lunch break at the moment, but I'll chime back in later with my own rant when time permits.

Crout

No one ever said you had to be real bright to get elected...as we all know so well.

JudyT929

Although I just can't believe there would be so many stupid people this was pretty funny. The FAT one was particularly funny. And yes Dallas is a big airport so you should rent a car..