Quotes to drink by
SMace
1,481 Posts
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I
feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the brewery and all of their
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer
and let their dreams come true than be selfish and
worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
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- - - - - - - - -
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day.
Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -! - - - - - -
- - - - - - - -
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway
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- - - - - - - - -
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading.
Paul Hornung
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- - - - - - -
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I
think not.
H.L. Mencken
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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we
fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!
George Bernard Shaw
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- - - - - - - - -
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
happy.
Benjamin Franklin
- - - - - - - - ! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.
W.C. Fields
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the
"Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see,
Norm, it's like ! this. A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd
is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular killing of the weakest members. In much
the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast
as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally,
it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
more efficient machine ! That's why you always feel
smarter after a few beers............
feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the brewery and all of their
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer
and let their dreams come true than be selfish and
worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day.
Lyndon B. Johnson
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -! - - - - - -
- - - - - - - -
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading.
Paul Hornung
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - -
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I
think not.
H.L. Mencken
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we
fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!
George Bernard Shaw
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
happy.
Benjamin Franklin
- - - - - - - - ! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - -
Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - -
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.
W.C. Fields
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the
"Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see,
Norm, it's like ! this. A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd
is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular killing of the weakest members. In much
the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast
as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally,
it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
more efficient machine ! That's why you always feel
smarter after a few beers............
Comments
and one has just entered my head.
If I can't drink while I'm living,
How the he** can I drink when I'm dead!
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o