Sex-ed for your child?

System

Ever wondered what your child is learning in health class? Things have changed since I've been there. Here's a good case for an elected school board rather than an appointed one. Unless I'm terribly naive, I can't believe this call would be the peoples' choice!

"The Montgomery County (Maryland) public school
system approved a curriculum yesterday in which
10th-graders will be shown how to put condoms on
cucumbers, and eighth-graders will learn that
homosexual couples are the newest American
family. The county school board voted 6-0 in favor of recommendations from the Citizens' Advisory Committee on Family Life and Human Development, despite opposition from parents. "

Don D

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-23-04 AT 10:22AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Will they also teach the student how to deal with a wilted cucumber or one with a decidely left hook? Let's be sure this curriculum is inclusive before we go and implement it! x:-)

(edit) For the sake of fairness, we don't want these 10th grade girls getting the wrong impression or false hopes, so, in addition to cucumbers, I would recommend they have a few cans of viennas on hand and some Slim Jims as well.

nohr4u1yr

That's PERFECT! Let's take out of our schools...

1. respect for teachers
2. respect for fellow classmates
3. being responsible for your actions
4. if you fail a class - you failed the class
5. "dodgeball"
6. the pledge of allegiance

and replace it with...

1. sue the school if your child gets hurt playing with a friend
2. how to put on a condom
3. metal detectors because of gun toting thugs
4. talking back and assulting teachers
5. parenting class because so many kids are pregnant

I could go on but I will spare you. I actually don't have any kids but sheesh! That is nuts! (no pun intended) x:D

JudyT929

I actually think this is good education that is necessary. Not everyone is having sex by 10th grade but those that are need to know how to protect themselves against STDs and pregnancy. Everyone should learn to accept homosexual couples they are and will continue to be a fact of life. Granted these things should be taught in the home but not every child has parents that are capable of teaching them.

Don, thanks for the laugh. You seem like a man who doesn't think an inch makes him a ruler.

Don D

If you've got enough sense to place your cucumber in the salad in the first place, you'd sure figure out how to peel it. hoho

LindaE

Don, on behalf of us women with supervisors who subscribe to this forum, thanks for that first post above!!! I can't remember this "joke" exactly, but I heard one about a kid who brought his dog to school - the dog was not allowed in and was made to sit outside the class all day. The dog went out to the hall and sat down next to God, who said something like, "Wouldn't let you in, either?" Speaks volumes. These kinds of classes are necessary, unfortunately, but the parents should have the final say in whether it is mandatory.

Whatever

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-23-04 AT 12:29PM (CST)[/font][br][br]So, have any of those parents who object to sex education in schools seen the sex "education" kids get from television and movies.

marc

Why can't they learn it just like I did, from classmates and writings on the bathroom wall? Seriously, this is a problem left to the schools because so many parents do not do the job. This creates issues for our children-becoming-adults at a time when they need to have something to fall back on, but do not have the maturity or the information to make good choices.

We deal with lots of problem youth and quite frequently their issues stem from dysfunctional family lives.

We offer lots of parenting classes and quite a few of them are filled because of judges orders stemming from family court cases. The parents are unable or unwilling to recoginize thier responsibilities until some third party with authority requires them to do so.

Quite frequently it comes so late in their lives of problems that the dye is cast and another generation is stained with the same unfortunate choices that their parents were faced with and the cycle perpetuates. Children having children, under or uneducated and left with low-income jobs, too many bills and too many responsibilities thrust upon them by poor choices.

How do you break this cycle? Is it any wonder that we turn to the schools as a positive place to share information that may change lives for the better?

National Guard

ABSTINENCE ABSTINENCE ABSTINENCE is what they should be teaching. NOT how to use a condom or how to have sex without getting any diseases. It has always seemed like a defeatist way to deal with sex education. "We don't like what you're doing but just in case..." or "Since you're not getting the education at home then school might as well do it" It is not the school's place to do it.

There is only one method of preventing pregnancy and STDs that is 100% effective - Abstinence. No other method or education can match it.

The truth is, untill teens and even adults accept responsibility for their own sexuality (and are comfortable with it) will they then be responsible in preventing STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

JudyT929

Sex education in schools is dealing with reality not being a defeatist. Home/church is where they might teach abstinence/morals; public schools must reach the masses and be realistic. I went to Catholic school and had no sex education what-so-ever from school nor from home (more likely in the back seat of a car). I was one of the "lucky ones" who didn't get pregnant nor any diseases, course back then sex wasn't likely to kill you as it could now. Schools are supposed to prepare our kids for the "real world" and give them the tools they need to face reality, sex education is an important part of that reality.

National Guard

Yea, but abstinence can be taught and is also part of that reality.

nohr4u1yr

I totally agree with National Guard - ABSTINENCE. There are too many "Who's my babies daddy" shows on tv. They all know about condoms - they just have the mind set of "it won't happen to me". Someone else stated earlier about broken homes - a lot of these girls "purposely" get pregnant because they "want someone to love them". There is a better way to teach younger people sex. How to roll on a condom properly is not going to solve the problems.

For some reason this topic has me all fired up!

Hope you all are having a great day!!

Shelley

Whatever

You are absolutely right, abstinence is the ideal. However, the reality is that children are having sex. And therefore, sex education is extremely important.

Second, maybe the parents should set the example. It is very common for adults today to live with someone and not get married. Heck, even my 82 year old uncle is doing it. But, it is setting an example for the kids (who always assume they are more mature and smarter than their parents).

And, I haven't even started on the rich and famous who don't have to worry about the consequences because they can always hire a nanny.

Abstinence may be the ideal...but it appears not to practiced by most Americans.

marc

Actually more like most HUMANS. Let's face it, procreation is built in at the instinctual level. Very few of us are successful when it with respect to overcoming our instincts. When we are hungry, we eat. Fight or flight in times of danger. Sex when Barry White is singing - etc, etc. We expect our undisciplined children to abstain when most of us cannot even do it very well ourselves?

Don D

But the real stupidity of this all is the notion that if a kid is screwing four nites a week, she/he needs some adult to come along and suggest the proper way to roll on a rubber. That's the last thing on the kid's mind. If they wanted to roll one one, they'd simply roll one on. Does anybody really think kids have no notion of how do perform this routine task? And why don't we have demonstrations of how to manage the cans of foam?

What this is akin to is rather than teaching people how to manage their diet, we acquiesce and teach them how not to teeter sideways and fall down since they're so damned fat.

Shadowfax

I agree that most kids probably alreadyknow how to put one on. But, I also remember a girl I dated a long, long time ago wouldn't let me kiss her on the mouth. When I finally got an explanation, she believed one got pregnant by kissing - and she was 15 years old. She was raised in an extremely strict, fundamental home (this was when very few folks had tv etc) where ev ery word was guarded, and she was exceptionally acquiesent to her parents mandates. And this kind of instruction will probably not save many pregnancies or diseases, but isn't it teaching taking responsibility for ourselves as man y of us keep harping?
Happy Thanksgiving to all - even ol' Pork eatin his stuffed loin! Regardless of our individual circumstances, most of us have a great deal to be thankful for. In addition to your God, in whatever form you see him/her, thank those who love and support you. Consider calling the wife, parent etc of a soldier. Just think of the support we would show if we all made just that one call. Be safe all.

marc

I thought the kissing was OK until you did it in the back seat - then you could get pregnant! My wife loves to tell that story - she heard it from one of her class mates who fervently believed it. This was a Catholic high shcool freshman. Oh yes, and the girls could not wear patent leather shoes because the boys could look up their skirts in the reflection.

That is something to be thankful for - like mini skirts.

marc

On a more serious note, those that are already doing it 4 nights a week are hopefully availing themselves of birth control. The ones sex ed classes are trying to reach are those that don't know. So if a youngster is kissing for the first time in the back of a car, but does not have knowledge that the risk of pregnancy is just a few steps away, that person is at risk of forever changing the course of their life, and not likely in a good way. There are also those that think, for whatever reason, that it will not happen to them. Sex Ed can help dispel such misinformation and give these kids a chance at higher education and therefore, a chance at a better life. When they finally do have kids of their own, perhaps the cycle can be broken for their children by the good example they set. While my parents did not have "the talk" with me, they did set an example that I followed without even knowing I was following it. It was the way I was taught - it was a part of my environment.

JudyT929

I too was one of those uninformed kids at the age of 15 who thought you could get pregnant by kissing. I don't think the parents of my generation did us any good by hiding sex from us, and making it shameful. isn't that why the "free love" of the 60s and 70s happened anyhow? The more kids know about sex and the consequences the wiser choices they can make, hopefully.

ScorpioHR

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-25-04 AT 10:29AM (CST)[/font][br][br]"I don't think the parents of my generation did us any good by hiding sex from us, and making it shameful. "

Judy, right on, I absolutely agree with you there. However, I also think that prospective parent's today should be given a "common sense" test. Personally, I think it is a parent's responsibility to teach children about the "birds and the bee's (showing my age there huh?) it should not be the responsibility of their teacher's or ANY school board. Unfortunately, parent's today have different priorities to my mind. Making money, keeping up with the Jones' and buying kids the latest computer games to sit in front of all day is more important. Then, (as happened to a close friend) when their kid's come home pregnant or ready to be a new Dad at 15, they blame everyone but themselves. The other kid, the school, whatever. It is sad.
Well now, have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving forumites!xhugs
scorpio

System

There is virtually no such thing as a youth kissing in the back seat of a car who does not know that a pregnancy risk is a few steps away. (Unless they were home-schooled). They get all that knowledge in public school. No teens in public schools are uninformed. Sex education DOES exist. "The more kids know about sex and the consequences the wiser choices they can make." Knowing about sex and practicing sex is not the same thing.

Schools, parents, social agencies, religions - ALL teach 'self-control' and saying 'no' when it applies to drugs, alcohol, anger, gambling, overeating, violence, impulsive spending, etc. But not self-control or abstinence in sex-education, and yet it would be the very best advice. But since we all believe it would be a fruitless venture, we make a minimal effort or no effort at that concept. That's a defeatists attitude.

Condoms and all forms of birth control are given freely and confidentially - even parents are not notified. And has it curbed unwanted preganancies or STD's? Maybe putting condoms on cumcumbers is the answer after all.

Note the last sentence of the article. An advisory committee made the recommendation and parents protested.

Don D

Well, the discussion shifts from the wisdom of the curriculum to who has responsibility for making curriculum decisions. Parents (and others) regularly have curriculum concerns. But, doesn't it ultimately boil down to the fact that, whatever the structure of a school district, such decisions have to be made at some point and eventually curriculum decisions get made? If everybody had to agree on it, chances are no classes would ever be held.

Schools, as we all learned a long, long time ago, are not democracies. By the way, has this advisory committee ruled yet on dodgeball?

System

You're right. One of my original points was a case for an elected school board. Here in this county the board has always been appointed. This year during the election we won the right to have an elected school board. It doesn't make schools a democracy, but the curriculum may closely resemble what parents want for their youth, which apparently didn't happen in Montgomery County.

LeslieC

The saddest thing about teaching our youth how to use condoms is that condoms FREQUENTLY DONT WORK, and too many "health educators" arent telling kids that. Several years ago James Dobson was giving a talk to a room of several hundred health educators. He asked for a show of hands as to how many of them recommend to their young students the use of condoms to protect from HIV. The entire room raised their hand. He then asked for a show of hands how many of them would have sex using a condom as protection with someone who was HIV positive. NO ONE raised their hand. Because they all the know the failure rate of condoms. Shame on them all.

National Guard

Good Point! Which emphasizes again that abstinence should be taught. Why are we trying to fool ourselves into this "reality" stuff!

ScorpioHR

"Well, the discussion shifts from the wisdom of the curriculum to who has responsibility for making curriculum decisions."

Who has responsibility for cirriculum decisions? No, Don D, who has responsibility for raising their children? Again, I do not believe it is the responsibility of the schools or the teachers. It is a parents responsibility, period.
scorpio

marc

I would agree that the parents should have that responsibility - but what happens when they shirk their duties altogether, or provide misinformation because they also don't know all they should (ignorance passed on from their parents)? When parents fail their children, in the various aspects of proper childrearing (a whole nother topic), society is left with unfortunate consequences. Children having children, undereducated individuals turning to crime or other unsavory methods to obtain short-term survivial - the list is long.

I don't know many of the answers, but I believe that education is one of the big keys. How can knowledge be a bad thing? Knowledge gives you power over your future - the ability to make more informed decisions, which, hopefully, means better decisions.

It is in self defense that society asks the schools to step in and provide education - public schools have already been asked to do these things with readin, ritin and rithmatic (and much more), why is it such a controversial step to go the extra mile? And by the way, I think abstinence is a great tool, but we are naive if we think all hormonally charged youth will have the discipline and will power to resist the instinctive siren call of sex.