I'm single!!!!

rad

OK, I'm venting. I made on online purchase and when I got to the name information screen I had to enter my name with a title, the title is a required field. The only choices are Mr, Ms and Mrs. No Miss. So I call the place and she says they can not take phone orders and I have to choose something. She was very nice when I asked her why single women are not allowed to buy patella taping kits. She laughed with me and said she'd mention that to someone, she is single as well.

I thought it was very unusual that not only was the title a required field but that Miss is not an option. I am a single woman and see no reason to hide that fact. I completely respect and support those women who do choose Ms but it is just not for me.

I'm not mad, just a little surprised and disappointed that I was not represented.

--sigh-- thanks for letting me vent.

Don D

Apparently a single man CAN buy a patella taping kit, whatever that is. Why not just check Mr. and be done with it. Are those kits legal in all states for single women to posess? Didn't Barney Fife have a fracture of the patella oblondoola?

rad

I was going to choose Mr but I chose to have my patella taping kit delivered to me at work and didn't want to create a problem for myself. As for the kit itself, I have patellafemoral dysfunction syndrome... which is greco-roman for bum knee. I wear a brace but it is not comfortable and doesn't fit under all my pants. The tape supports the knee cap and prevents it from floating out of alignment.

Don D

Aha! I was half right. Remember that episode where the old hobo showed up in the woods and befriended Opey and told Andy he could not work because he had fractured the patoola oblondola? And Barney thought that part of the body was in the brain? So now I know it was in the knee. My son has one of those, but he tore his up in football.

rad

Does your son have any patella tape he can send me? Or better yet, I can send him the link to the place I found. He'll have no trouble, he's a Mr.

JudyT929

I've always preferred the Ms over Miss if a choice was required, because I figured it was nobody's business whether I was married or not. But I guess I'd feel the same as you if I could only choose Mrs or Miss. I get upset when I can only choose married or single, neither widowed or divorced are an option. And really why is it that men only have to have one option, Mr? Maybe because they are really all alike? :-)

Parabeagle

As a child of the sexual revolution (not really OF the revolution, but having served IN the revolution) I have always tried to be sensitive to womens' sensibilities and, ever since Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, et al, burned their bras and declared that "Ms." is a real title, have eschewed the use of "Miss." Now I find myself using Ms. and having women correct me with Mrs. or Miss. What the heck do I do now??? x:-/

rad

I don't have an answer for you Beagle, you can't please everyone and its tough because women, unlike men, are defined by their marital status. I am sometimes called Ms and I very politely say "its Miss, thank you" if I am in a last name enviromnment. Otherwise, I ask the person to use my first name. My gripe was not having a choice.

Now my mother would have the perfect solution to my problem - find a man and get married!

jrzgrl

On the other side of the coin, there is a mid-70's woman in my building who always goes by "Miss". I don't think it would be my preference at that age, but to each his own. I agree that they need to expand their horizons, for the young and old alike. O=*

Whatever

Let's get to my real pet peeve as a single woman or as a woman. It's getting calls at work by someone who wants to do business with us, doesn't know me and insists on calling me either by first name or honey or sweetie. When I tell them to call me by last name they say "Yes, dear." That's what my ex used to do. At this point I really don't care if I am called by Ms., Miss or Mrs. by a stranger. Now, should I start my tirade against store clerks?

rad

Oh, I'm with you on that one, I already said what my boss calling me "kiddo" does to me! I know I look younger than I am but I hate being called honey, sweetie, toots (yes, toots), baby, the list goes on. The only time I don't mind is if its a real old person, same age as my grandmother. Then I will accept honey or sweetie. Otherwise, learn my name and use it.

All that being said, I'll never forget the horror the first time a young man in a convenience store called me "ma'am". x:o

mjindra

I knew ma'am would come up! My husband calls waitresses ma'am, even if they're younger than us and I always give him a good kick.

When people call me at work, especially older women, they conveniently change my name from Melissa to Missy before I even give it a second thought. That will get my ears steaming in no time!

Don D

Of the above 10 posts, Missy, men don't have ANY of these problems. Things have to rise to a certain level to be a problem for a man. Don't go there!

mjindra

After I posted, I was wondering which wise-guy was going to call me Missy. You're on my list.

Parabeagle

I use ma'am all the time. It's habit. In the service, female officers are called "ma'am" while male officers are called "sir." It becomes second nature. Geez, I'm behind the eight-ball on another issue, now! Maybe I'll just go home.

Leslie

Several years ago I had a male employee on suspension for investigation of sexual harassment come to my office and ask, "Hey honey when is this silliness going to be over?" You could almost see the steam coming out of my ears xx(. I still wonder if it was on purpose....

Parabeagle

I didn't know Herb Tarlek worked for you! Gold chains, shirt half-opened, pinky ring, loud sportcoat that says "somewhere there's a Volkswagen without its seat covers?"

KSimonton

I agree with the "ma'am" debate. I'm 35, no kids and I feel 25, so it's horrible to be a "Ma'am". Makes me feel 80 years old! Hope their aren't any 80 year olds on this forum! I thought this thread was about hooking other Forumites up if they were single as well. Hmmmm, maybe I should do that!


Have a great day!

Leslie

WKRP in Cincinnati - I love it! That's the second sitcom reference in one day.

Nope - poker dealer. Pretty much the same vein!

Parabeagle

Nah, we can't use the Forum for that. The web gurus would consider that "value added" and up the subscription rates.

rad

Don't worry, Beagle, you're not the only one. I was taught to call people ma'am and sir when I was in high school. Not to do it warranted a stern look, an oral presentation on respect or a detention. Its a habit I still have today. I try to use the same judgement that I use when I offer my seat on the train - I don't want to offend but I do respect those older than I and think that they should sit and be called ma'am or sir. I use anyone who looks to be around my mother's age as a guide which can be tricky because she looks great for her age but its all I have to go by.

I was not offended when that nice young man called me ma'am, it was just a shock to the system to suddenly realize I am no longer the sweet young thang I used to be!

marc

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-13-03 AT 07:33PM (CST)[/font][br][br]I am somewhat of a traditionalist. By that, I was taught to be a gentleman and personally try to keep alive the idea that chivalry is not dead. I open doors, hold elevators, and generally try to treat women like ladies. That said, in a business atmosphere, one can often be misunderstood. Just a review of the above posts and the delimma is very well framed. So if I use the maam word, it is a sign of respect. If I use Ms, it is because it is a bit safer and less presumptuous than the alternatives. I will quickly determine if it is ok to use first names, which I prefer, or more formal names if the audience makes that preference known.

rad

I think thats nice, Marc. I love it when men open doors for me so I guess I'm somewhat of a traditionalist as well. Likewise, I always allow older people on and off the elevator first and hold doors for them, even the men. I work in a high rise and I must say that the men, even the very young men, are very polite and almost always let the ladies on and off the elevators first. I'm not saying that I feel I need special treatment because of my gender but to me it shows a sense of respect and it makes me feel good.

Now, a question I've had for a while - what are the rules for revolving doors? If I were to let an older lady through first, that means she's got to do the pushing to get the door started. But I feel funny going first. Do I allow her to go first and give the door a little push to get it started? Where's Emily Post when you need her? x:-/

moneyman

And in the south, it is common to hear ma'am and sir as a form of respect. It was difficult for me to get used to it being a transplant from So. Calif, however, it is something that I am instilling in my children because it is an accepted form of address. Now, for my kids, it is when they address older people. However, I still find it odd when I hear my husband (who was raised here) use that form for all people, younger or older than himself. But again, it is pretty much accepted here.

Don D

I'm delighted (and pleasantly surprised) to see that people from all corners of the country use the term ma'am respectfully. I was raised that way and never knew any different. 'Sir' was the same and still is. And it doesn't have much to do with age necessarily. I find myself saying 'yes ma'am' to the 19 year old girl in at the Wendy's mike. It's just the way things are. My daddy and momma would have snatched a knot in my neck if I had ever said what the kids do today...'naaaaw', yeauh, nope, much less the MF salutations my wife gets in the classroom. My mother is 84. If she's bold enough to walk through a revolving doorway, let her handle it on her own. She didn't get to be 84 not being able to handle herself.

Whatever

My parents are 83. They absolutely hate being treated as if they are unable to think or take care of themselves. They go through revolving doors on their own.

MOMANUFACTURER

OK since we touched on the name calling thing I must vent a moment. My peeve right now are those people that think because I'm pregnant that they can call me little mama, mommy, prego or any such thing. Just because I have become an incubator doesn't mean that I have changed my name, so please call me by it.
Thanks...I feel better now.

bamahr

I am married but always mark Ms. Mrs. just doesn't seem to fit. Also working in the south I have gotten use to Dear. EXCEPT - when it is someome who is being condescending - Their "Thanks Dear" - gets them a "Your Welcome Antelope.
Works every time.

rad

I love it. Do you have a retort for "kiddo"?

Dan

Reply to "kiddo" with "sure thing gramps" that should get their attention

rad

Thats not such a bad idea...or "grandma" for the women who do it. I'm not sure how that would fly with my boss who is the biggest offender but, believe it or not, a co-worker who is only a year or two older than I am calls me that too. xx(