Words Women Use

San Francisco

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD or WHATEVER (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get "Raised eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A :"Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment,and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statments that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement,it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to comeup with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and it will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". (Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

Parabeagle

Wow! My ex-wife must have written this! What vivid memories it brings back! xflash

mwild31

This is perfect, although now I feel exposed - that's how true it is x:-)

Parabeagle

Learn something new about you every day, Mwild! Of course, I think your sentiments would be true of virtually ALL women. x;-)

mwild31

Have you learned that I'm a wonderful person full of good cheer & desiring world peace?

rad

As long as all men remember this list, we can all live in peace.

mjindra

I feel exposed too, now that this list has been shared. As I read it I raised my eyebrows at the appropriate times, (I know you all did it too), and it just feels too familiar to be shared.

We're going to have to come up with a new code that the boys don't know. How about hand gestures? I already have some of my own that I use. x;-)

HS

[font color="indigo"][b][i]I refuse to comment, on the grounds that it may incriminate me. x;-)