HR Commandments

Nrdgrrl

Thou Shalt Have No Other HR Director But Me

Thou Shalt Not Blame the HR Director for Executive Management's Screw Ups.

Thou Shall Remember FLSA and Keep it Holy.

Thou Shall Honor All Contracts with Employees and any Unions in Good Faith.

Thou Shalt Not Implement Corporate Capital Punishment without the Advice of HR

Executives and Managers Shalt Not Commit Sexual Harassment with Their Secretaries, or with Any Other Employee

Thou Shalt Not Steal Employees Lunches from the Refrigerator or Use Their Parking Spaces, Nor Steal Their Dignity

Management and Supervisors Shall Make Honest Performance Assessments and Not Misrepresent Anything to Subordinates and Employees

Managers Shall Not Covet Other Managers' Employees for Any Reason Without Discussing Their Desire for the Employees To Work In Their Own Sections with Both the Other Manager and the Individual Employees

Thou Shall Pay a Fair and Living Compensation to Employees with Sufficient Fringe Benefits.

ray a

If I received fair compensation I wouldn't have to steal lunches from the refrigerator.

Nrdgrrl

Good one ray a! x:D

Parabeagle

You're at it again, Ray. Are you in a pun-filled, one-liner mood today, or what? x:-)

ray a

No really, I mean it. If I didn't steal lunches, I'd weigh only 180 lbs.

Speaking of stealing, Had a message this morning that a girl on 2nd shift had her wallet stolen during work last night including her entire 2 weeks pay. She called the police, they found the empty wallet a mile down the road at the gas station. Come to find out, it was at the gas station she discovered the wallet was "missing". Earlier at lunch in the cafeteria, she loudly and persistently proclaimed how much she trusted all her coworkers and she had soooo much confidence in them she did not lock her locker which had her purse, wallet and entire pay. But, no way would anybody steal it. Well, next thing we know it's all gone. Can you say "SCAM"?

HRQ

"SCAM"

gillian2

Yes

ray a

And speaking of using someone else's parking place... Only our VP has a designated parking spot. Unofficially, I have the spot next to him, but only because I'm the first director to arrive. Well, it used to be when he was not in the office, others would take his spot since it is closest to the front door. One day, the Director of Engineering parked in the VP's spot thinking he was on vacation. He wasn't. And he wasn't amused. We have a new Director of Engineering, now. Rarely does anyone park in the VP's spot now unless they are positively sure he won't be in. I never park there.

gillian2

That says a lot about the VP - priorities and otherwise.

cebudragonlady

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 09-23-03 AT 03:20PM (CST)[/font][p]Ray~
You mean to say that the Ex-Director of Engineering was fired for parking in the VP's spot ? It just sounds that way from the way you wrote it!

Chari

ray a

The former director of engineering was skating on very thin ice when he parked in the VP's spot. The ice was thin due to performance issues. The VP was upset when he pulled in the lot that morning and saw his spot was taken. That isn't what triggered the change, it was strictly performance. But, the VP just didn't like the guy and parking in the wrong spot didn't help the director. He was demoted to a Sr. Mfg. Engineer, so he is still with us, but now he parks further back in the lot.