How To Tell If You Need A New Lawyer
Parabeagle
3,085 Posts
During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
When your opponent's lawyers see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
He picks a juror by playing "eenie, meenie, miney, moe."
During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."
He keeps citing the case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
The sign in front of his law office reads, "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM"
Whenever his objection is overruled he tells the judge, "Whatever."
He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
When your opponent's lawyers see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
He picks a juror by playing "eenie, meenie, miney, moe."
During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."
He keeps citing the case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
The sign in front of his law office reads, "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM"
Whenever his objection is overruled he tells the judge, "Whatever."
He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
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