Wives 6 -- Husbands 0

With our anniversary drawing near, my wife of near 20 years shared the following with me:
1. A husband and wife are lying in bed. The husband says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The wife says: "I'll miss you."
2. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," the husband says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "That I married you for your money," she replied.
3. Husband said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
you really badly. Wife says, "Well, you succeeded."
4. Husband said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" Wife says, "I've been thinking about that too, that's a good idea... you stand at the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and watch TV."
5. Husband, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" Wife says, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
6. One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Missouri." And they say blondes are dumb.

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