Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards
the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

“The difficult thing with quotes on the internet is verifying them.” – Abraham Lincoln

I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order, LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don’t like to interrupt her.

Lawyers really aren’t so bad, it’s just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.

If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean Congress is the opposite of progress?

The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.

Men are all the same – they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.

A man walked into a bar…………………………..ouch.
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