do you know any...

I'm looking for some Christmas humor appropriate for the office. The only one I can come up with is questionable:

"The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

Do you know any you can share here?


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  • I just read these...and I like the last one.

    1) What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa?
    "Claus" trophobic

    2) Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
    He likes to ho-ho-ho

    3) What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  • Nevada, you have way too much time on your hands. :)
  • Here are a few more. I didn't write them, so I can't be held responsible for injuries sustained from EERs (Extreme Eye Rolls).

    How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer, "Olive"?
    Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."

    What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
    Crisp Cringle

    Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
    He had low elf esteem.

    Why does Santa go down the chimney?
    Cause it soots him!

    And finally, I leave you with this deep thought: If Santa Claus had a father, was there a Grandfather Clause?
  • Well, the first set of jokes that I posted came in an HR solicitation email this morning. (insert angel icon)

    This one, however, indicates that I have way too much time on my hands.

    The Top Ten Politically Correct Christmas carols
    10. O Holiday Tree

    9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter

    8. Frosty the Snowperson

    7. Chestnuts roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-Friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire (for which I do have a permit)

    6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlepersons

    5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator

    4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Non-endangered Foliage (If office policy permits)

    3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings

    2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection

    1. I'll Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December
  • Nevada, I have to hand it to you and Alan.=D> Thanks for allowing me to turn my facial expression which utilizes a larger number of muscles into one that uses a lesser number of muscles and have a bit of joy in this season of capitalism and excess. Technically, if we are to be politically correct, we should not use the word "holiday" as it is a derivative of "Holy day".:angel:
  • Happy Block of Year-End Days in Which Various Peoples Observe Various Traditions!
  • Joannie, happy to be of help. Wishing you the peace which passes all understanding this holiday season! As to all the Forumites!
  • [quote=Alan King;723464]Happy Block of Year-End Days in Which Various Peoples Observe Various Traditions![/quote]

    Thanks for that one, Alan. I think I'll save it for next year's Year end card mailing.
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