Rude emails
Joy1
52 Posts
What do you do when you get a really rude email from a co-worker?
I am not talking about the pornographic or harassing/discriminatory stuff . . I just mean where the coworkers is being rude, "saying" something in an email that they would never say in person. Do you call them on it? Do you let it pass as possibly unintended or a result of the emotionless vehicle that email is? What if it happens repeatedly?
Comments
my supervisor prior to the re-org had a tendancy to send emails that were so short and to the point they approached snarky. I brought it up in a jovial manner saying that there are times when I shut down my computer after reading one of her emails (to give me time to pause before I shoot one back to her) and tell her that she has a "tone."
She is always direct, but over email, she tends to be much harsher. She is getting better after being confronted on a casual basis.
Sidenote, I have dealt with this issues on a personal level as well, and let's just say, it was easier to have that convo at work.
[quote user="regdunlop"]i would probably follow it with a face to face chat and ask about the email and what the person meant by what they said. you could let them know that you didn't know how to interpret their email and wondered if something was wrong.
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I agree with Reg.
I find that following up an email of suspicious tone with an email of any kind (whether asking for clarification on intent or telling them their tone is inappropriate) generally creates more problems and a lot more email to deal with. The face to face engagement allows you to get all the meta-linguistic info to figure out where they're coming from. It also puts you on the moral high ground if there is a problem because you didn't avoid the face to face context.
I'm known at work for being a huge fan of the movies The Godfather & The Godfather, Part II. I incopporate at least one quote or example from these movies in each of my presentations. When I receive an e-mail message from one of my peers that I think "crosses the line" into rudeness, I reply, "In the words of Don Corleone to the undertaker, Bonosera, "What have I done to you to make you treat me so disrespectfully?"" This usually gets their attention.
Ken
Not to completely excuse co-workers who do this, but keep in mind that in at least some instances, it's just a matter of the individual not having a knack for the proper e-mail etiquette. I have a co-worker who is an absolute pleasure to converse with, but I've been convinced by the tone of some of her e-mails that she was angry with me. But it's just her way to be write very brief messages that can come off as curt and unfriendly--when she doesn't intend to do so at all.
I find, however, that if you have an issue with a co-worker with whom you deal with regularly and he/she has sent you multiple e-mails that border on the rude, that the best approach is to tell the person, as regdunlop suggested, that you aren't sure sometimes how to interpret his/her e-mail, and perhaps it would work best between the two of you to pick up the phone or talk face to face whenever possible, in order to help ensure that there won't be any future misunderstandings. Seems like this would only be necessary for a 'repeat offendor' though, and not for a one-time occurrence.