2007 Mensa Invitational Winners
joannie
2,294 Posts
In its annual "Mensa Invitational" the Washington Post asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter -- and supply a new definition. The 2007 winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): the act of buying or building a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus (n.): a person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation (n.): coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
7. Giraffiti (n.): vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis (n.): terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis (n.): a degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon (n.): It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido (n.): all talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect (n.): the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
AND...
The Washington Post has also has a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are...
1. Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted: appalled to discover how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade: to attempt to explain while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly: impotent.
6. Negligent: absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph: to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle: olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence: emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle: a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude: the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism: the belief that after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent: an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jews.
1. Cashtration (n.): the act of buying or building a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus (n.): a person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation (n.): coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
7. Giraffiti (n.): vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis (n.): terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis (n.): a degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon (n.): It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido (n.): all talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect (n.): the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
AND...
The Washington Post has also has a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are...
1. Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted: appalled to discover how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade: to attempt to explain while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly: impotent.
6. Negligent: absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph: to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle: olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence: emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle: a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude: the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism: the belief that after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent: an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jews.
Comments
I like this one best because the pronounciation doesn't even change.