changing roles
AnneHa
214 Posts
I started a new thread because I was falling off my chair trying to read the responses to 'Parabeagle..."
In different decades, roles of men and women often shifted. From the Roarin' 20s, the Depressed 30s, the Rosies of the 40s, and the professional housewives of the 50s, women have moved in and out of the roles that our culture, not exactly dictates, but encourages and reinforces. I'm posting an excerpt from a 50's textbook that had steam coming out of my ears when I first read it, but I saved it because it iilustrates the acceptable roles of the 50s that many (if not most)of today's women would find unacceptable
How To Be a Good Wife
(from a high school home economics textbook, 1950)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal---on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day might need a lift.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile.
Some don’ts. Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him sit down on a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order so that your husband will stay and not stray.
(An illustration, ‘How to Kiss’ was included. The man and woman are kissing and a big arrow swings around from her back to the back of his head. Huh?)
Anne in Ohio
In different decades, roles of men and women often shifted. From the Roarin' 20s, the Depressed 30s, the Rosies of the 40s, and the professional housewives of the 50s, women have moved in and out of the roles that our culture, not exactly dictates, but encourages and reinforces. I'm posting an excerpt from a 50's textbook that had steam coming out of my ears when I first read it, but I saved it because it iilustrates the acceptable roles of the 50s that many (if not most)of today's women would find unacceptable
How To Be a Good Wife
(from a high school home economics textbook, 1950)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal---on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day might need a lift.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile.
Some don’ts. Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him sit down on a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order so that your husband will stay and not stray.
(An illustration, ‘How to Kiss’ was included. The man and woman are kissing and a big arrow swings around from her back to the back of his head. Huh?)
Anne in Ohio
Comments
Linda
I also have an old episode of the Dick Van Dyke show on tape that addresses your article's content more directly. They do three versions of Dick coming home at the end of the day.
In his version he comes in the door like Fred Astaire, dancing his way into her heart. Laura is sloppily dressed and yawning, complaining, all the dishes are dirty and there is no dinner.
In her version, she is dressed in a formal gown and a tiara with his favorite dinner on the stove and the table beautifully set. He comes home late and slams the door so the picture falls off the wall; didn't call her to say he'd be late and had dinner on the way home.
I like the music and the poodle skirts, but not sure the rest of the 50s were all that fun, in retrospect.
Brad Forrister
VP/Content
M. Lee Smith Publishers
However, I have always been annoyed by our willingness to accept those dictates, why would you read a book that tells you how to be a good wife? There aren't many men who believe they need any advice on how to be a good husband. Whether they do or not isn't the question. Its the fact that believe enough in themselves and their abilities to listen to their own thoughts 1st and get advice later.
Why did so many women in the 50s believe that they should stay home, keep house and raise children when their own desires would have led them to work.
Why do so many woman now believe that they have to work and be a mother when their own desires would lead them to make one choice now and another later?
My point is that women are oftem complicit in their unhappiness with the status quo.
Finally, I know many women who would love to stay home with their children, but for economic reasons must work.
Anyway, as the resident oldie, I thought I would check out how things were, since I don't remember. I dragged out the old 1958 HS yearbook and this is what I found.
Lots of poodle skirts. I'd forgotten them until HRLASS mentioned it. Non-poodle skirts with hems below the knee to almost the ankle. Lots of crew cuts, guys and faculty (male). Female hair styles some the same as now but some rather strange. I can't explain. 1940's and 50's cars. Lots of clubs populated according to gender, with each having a mascot of the opposite gender. Clubs with members of both genders didn't have a mascot but a faculty member was in the picture. I don't know what that means. The rule for guys apparently was that photographs require a suit or sports coat and tie with dark dress shoes. THe only one who was different was yours truly, who wore his white band uniform shoes - they doubled as uniform and dress shoes, since I didn't have another pair. All white - desegregation hadn't kicked in yet. Only one Hispanic name. Two pages devoted to the one inch of snow which fell in north Florida that year - I guess one half inch for each page. The Historical Society club had a purpose - "to create a better interest in current controversial issues through discussion." I wasn't in the club, so I don't know what they discussed.
I prefer today.
I remember how my mother was at home. She wasn't allowed to work outside the house so she kept a tight, neat home for us. She greeted my father at the door and supper was always hot when he came through it. He was served at the table and he never cleared his own dishes...just got up and went into the living room to watch the news.
Cheryl C.
Four friends of mine who had a rock band were sent home from school for daring to all wear blue shirts with white collars on the same day. It was just too out of line.
I was kicked out of the gym at a high school basketball game in '65 for wearing a Beatle-wig. Wonder what they would have done had I worn an earring and had the crack of my a** exposed with my britches hanging down.
G3 has brought me to tears with that 'one pair of shoes story'. My brother and I had one pair between us one time. Hold my beer while I find my violin.
Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion. If you find yourself offended or uncomfortable, email me and let me know why.
>happening in the front yard! Oh, wait, I'll bet
>you meant on television. You must have had a
>television. I don't think we did.
Yes we had a television and it was a color one too! I was born in the early 60's and most people had them by then. I think it stayed on at our home from dawn until the Late, Late Show.
Sounds very familiar. I think my mom was a closet June Cleaver fan. I was born in 1958 (*age disclosure*) and can say "ditto" to the rest of your post.
To translate for Don - my dad would get up from the table and go to the den to watch the news. From that vantage he could see the news on "TV" (stands for "television", minus cable, dish, satellite, VCR, DVD, internet, Playstation and remote) or the live version at the home of the neighbors on either side. I could also watch TV in my neighbor's bedroom from my bedroom, or hold conversations from our upstairs bathroom window to the other neighbor's dining room.
My brother and I both play the piano and we had sing-a-longs with family and friends. Dad taught us how to play Rummy 500 on a rainy day and brother and I also read voraciously to this day. There were always regular family trips to the public library during summer vacation. We skated on the streets in winter and rode bikes in summer. Ah, those were the days! But no complaints now, either.
My older brother (this was circa '62) was suspended from school for refusing to button the top button of his shirt for a class picture.
Someone mentioned earlier that some women would like to stay home today but find it necessary from a financial standpoint to work. In some cases, yes, but in many cases - Hogwash! Most families today need two incomes due to lifestyle decisions, not necessity. Live like I lived when I was a kid, and one person can support the family - One car, a 900 sq ft house, one TV (maybe), play family games for entertainment, etc, etc. We have several married and unmarried young employees who are the sole support for their families. They aren't highly compensated either, they just have different priorities or circumstances, and prove it can be done.
Out on the playground was a huge "Jungle Jim" that would just horrify today's parents.
Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion. If you find yourself offended or uncomfortable, email me and let me know why.
In fifty years what will they laugh at us for?
Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion. If you find yourself offended or uncomfortable, email me and let me know why.
Aha! So that's why these diabolical domestic divas seem to have a difficult time controlling the gas and brake pedals on their mastodon Detroit monsters.