Cruel Cat Joke

TN HR · April 2005

Q-How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

A-Pour gas on it and lit a match: WOOF!

Anyone have any more?

Parabeaglex2 · April 2005

Stay right where you are. The ASPCA and PETA are on their way to arrest you for that groaner. x;-)

LarryC · April 2005

I think it was on the old SNL where they used to juggle kittens. When I tried this at home, it was actually pretty difficult, because when you throw a cat up in the air it stiffens right up. You end up having to catch them by the head and wipe 'em around to get them back up in the air in time to catch the next one. If you drop one, no biggie. They stay right where they landed because they're too dizzy to go running off. Also if you get real young ones before their eyes are open, it works even better because they're not so stiff. You also have to watch that you don't juggle them too long because they'll start pissing and pooping right in mid-air and then you've got yourself a real mess.

safety · April 2005

Here’s one for ya. I have a cruel cat when it comes to strange dogs. She will attack them in one swift swoop, do two 360’s around their head biting and clawing along the way then jump and run to safety before the dog ever knows what hit ‘em. I’ve seen her do this several times. It will get her in trouble and killed if she tries the wrong dog but the times I’ve witnessed it the dog never saw her coming and didn’t have time to react it happens so fast. Man what a cruel cat!

Geno · April 2005

True story. Years ago when I worked on the railroad there was a fellow that came to work one day sporting literally dozens of deep, vicious-looking scratches that went all of the way up his left arm and continued up his neck and left side of his face and head. When asked what in the heck had happened to him he just shook his head and said with his slow West Virginia drawl “Did ya know that it is impossible to throw a cat out the winder of a moving car? – just cain’t be done.”

irenesmsaclaims · April 2005

Am I missing something? These are disturbing to me. Things like this have happened here, and there's a special place in Hell for people who do things like this to cats. I can hardly stand to read the newspaper articles. The punishment is never equal to the deed.

Geno · April 2005

irene,

In my story, the cat won.

LarryC · April 2005

Looks like I'm going to hell, but at least I'll have a special place.

Hunter1 · April 2005

Irene: I don't know about CO, but in WI, people go to jail for longer terms for cruelty to animals than they do for the same kind of treatment of another human being. It's ridiculous.

My son has a cat, it's huge and jet black. When he and his wife go away, it's my job to take care of the beast. When I enter the house, that cat hisses at me, growls deep in it's throat, and looks plain evil. I swear that someday it's going to attack me, do one of those 360's, and leave me in the doctor's office. And, no, I didn't do anything bad to it. It treats all strangers the same way.

Hunter1 · April 2005

Not a joke, but one of my favorites: [url]www.ebaumsworld.com/freecat.html[/url]

Enjoy

jmcaa · April 2005

SICK!

Anyone who would abuse a cat is sick mentally!

NOT funny.

irenesmsaclaims · April 2005

Geno, Yes, the cat SHOULD have won, given what the person was doing to it, or did I miss your point?

Larry, they may be getting that place ready right now; wait, what do I see? LITTERBOXES!!

irenesmsaclaims · April 2005

Oh, I almost forgot. Hunter, the same state that has harsher laws about animal abuse is going to allow people to shoot feral cats, or has that been struck down? I'm a Badger alumni, and don't recall seeing many rednecks in Madison, but could have been shrouded in the academic cloud at the time!!

LarryC · April 2005

Relax on this one, Irene. Governor Cheesehead says he won't sign it. He says other states are making fun of Wisconsin. Hey, we do that anyway; cat laws or not.

Hunter1 · April 2005

Irene: Larry's right, the governor has said he will veto the bill if it ever makes it to his desk.
Congratulations on being a Wisconsin graduate, as you know, it's a very good school. Of course, you know that Madison is something like 56 square miles surrounded by reality.

I don't think a redneck would be allowed in.

LarryC · April 2005

That's fine, Irene, but no hairballs, please.

JudyT929 · April 2005

Good night, Irene.

Cruel Cat Joke

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