Men Strike Back
Shadowfax
910 Posts
At the risk of starting something...what the hey..it's Friday. This was handed to me by my sec'try - so it must be ok. She said to send it to a few good men, and any women who can handle the truth!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a laundromat a poor place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why are woman's feet smaller then men's? Evolution. It allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't need to, there is a clock on the stove.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminished awoman's sex drive by 90%. Wedding cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
In the beginning God created the earth and rested. Then God created man, and rested. Then God created woman. Neither God nor man has rested since.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY x:D
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a laundromat a poor place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why are woman's feet smaller then men's? Evolution. It allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't need to, there is a clock on the stove.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminished awoman's sex drive by 90%. Wedding cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
In the beginning God created the earth and rested. Then God created man, and rested. Then God created woman. Neither God nor man has rested since.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY x:D
Comments
Then God thought "Ah ha! I can do better than that!"
Who knows! But I always heard that foot size was related to ego . . . or something like that.
Uh, I'm looking for some backup here. Where are you Cheryl? National Guard? Rita? Leslie? ? ? ? ? ? ?
I'm certainly no authority on the subject but I've also heard the same thing about a man's foot size being indicative of the size of his...ego. Just by reading this thread, it's obvious that some of our charming male forumites must have a hard time finding shoes to fit them.
Cheryl x0:)
Why do men have to flex their muscles around women so much?
A:Because they have nothing else to brag about.
Q:What is the best way to get a man to stop pestering you?
A:Stare at his crotch and laugh.
Q:Why do men never stop to ask for directions?
A:Because they aren't lost, they just don't know where they are.
Q:If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
A:YES!!!
Why do men think they're so superior if they have to become men while women just are?
:DD:DD
:DD
Think about it guys, after she ate she came & offered it to Adam. If Adam had said no, she would have cut him off. But since he "caved in" to appease her, we went down with them just to make them happy.
Another thought, would us guys still be walking around naked if we (men) had not eaten the fruit?? Thus keeping us perfect?? Just a thought.
Well, slogan, perfect would be a stretch...but if you read earlier in the creation story, God saw that it wasn't good for man to be left alone so He created a helper for him, Eve.
So, you were partly right. Men would have still been walking around naked but without Eve, he would have been lost anyway.
Cheryl C.
In order for a woman doing the same job as a man to be taken seriously she must perform 50% better. Fortunately that's not difficult.
(this is in reply to post #21)
The battle between the sexes is never ending. But the woman is and always will be stronger, smarter amd more clever. Just read your last statement, " Neither God nor man has rested since". That's our calling. With out us man would be a miserable lump, forever searching for the one thing he thinks will make him content.
Dickie, all the male bonding, all the strutting, you always come home to momma.
"With out us man would be a miserable lump, forever searching for the one thing he thinks will make him content."
I'm not exactly, fer sure, precisely sure what that means; but, I think I know.
Shadowfax: I didn't know you were Dickie. That's cute.
Father cdalls me Dick,
Grandma calls me Richard,
but the fellers call me Rick.
Actually, my mother hasn't calaled me Dickie for ..55 years or so, but if she did I wouldn't mind at all. In fact, I will shortly make a Valentines DAy call to her and tell her how much she means to me. So, Ritaanz, you are correct, a son always comes home to momma. Then there is the other Mama, that a man always comes home too, and a joy it is, generally. And last night, my 24 year old daughter came home to wish me happy VD in person, and tell me what a wonderful father I have been. It doesn't get better than that! My mother was a woman; I married a woman; and my only child is now a woman. How could we not love you guys! So, that's my Valentine Days schmaltz - but keep up the battle of the sexes, it's part of what keeps us interested.