TheHardest Thing
HRGirl
290 Posts
This past Sunday I had to do one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do. I had to tell my 8 yr old daughter I had to put her cat down 6 days before Christmas without her getting to say good bye. I watched her melt in front of me and cry like I've never experienced.
I struggled with the decision in the vets office, but they couldn't promise me that after spending a minimum of $1500 dollars that the cat would live (it had some kind of infection). I didn't even know the cat was sick until Sunday, which makes me feel even worse.
Shelby wanted to see her cat before we buried her, she petted her and kissed her goodbye and then the realization set in that she wasn't coming back and we all cried. It was very hard for me to watch my baby bury her cat (she choose to do it, my husband dug the grave but my daughter put her in and covered her up). She said a prayer and said she loved her and would miss her and that she was sorry she couldn't hold her any more. I had to walk away at that point.
I know that life deals us some sucky cards...but this was just about all I could handle. In the last month my poor daughter has changed schools mid year (we moved) and now her cat died. She has had a really sh**ty month too.
But on the upside, my husband and I decided that she couldn't be without a commpanion cat so we adopted a 7 week old kitten. It is one of my daughters Christmas presents. Shelby promptly advised us that this kitten did not take the place of her old one but she would love it just about as much. She then went to the grave and told the old cat all about her new kitten...crying the entire time.
Did I say I don't want to be a parent any more??
I just had to get that off my chest...it's been a heavy burden for a few days now and I knew I could share it with you guys.
I struggled with the decision in the vets office, but they couldn't promise me that after spending a minimum of $1500 dollars that the cat would live (it had some kind of infection). I didn't even know the cat was sick until Sunday, which makes me feel even worse.
Shelby wanted to see her cat before we buried her, she petted her and kissed her goodbye and then the realization set in that she wasn't coming back and we all cried. It was very hard for me to watch my baby bury her cat (she choose to do it, my husband dug the grave but my daughter put her in and covered her up). She said a prayer and said she loved her and would miss her and that she was sorry she couldn't hold her any more. I had to walk away at that point.
I know that life deals us some sucky cards...but this was just about all I could handle. In the last month my poor daughter has changed schools mid year (we moved) and now her cat died. She has had a really sh**ty month too.
But on the upside, my husband and I decided that she couldn't be without a commpanion cat so we adopted a 7 week old kitten. It is one of my daughters Christmas presents. Shelby promptly advised us that this kitten did not take the place of her old one but she would love it just about as much. She then went to the grave and told the old cat all about her new kitten...crying the entire time.
Did I say I don't want to be a parent any more??
I just had to get that off my chest...it's been a heavy burden for a few days now and I knew I could share it with you guys.
Comments
HRGirl, please see the personal note I just sent to you and have a safe Christmas.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
You will likely carry this memory forever, as will your daughter. She sounds like a well-balanced child with a wonderful big heart. These things make us stronger and help build character that helps us handle life.
Stay strong.
You did the right thing, however painful, and your child sounds wonderfully sensitive and tender-hearted. Love that new kitty with all your might and take comfort in knowing you put the pet's needs before your own. Have a restful Christmas and recharge!
Linda
I lost a dog when I was 12, another at 21 and another at 31. Now Bear. I don't know that it ever got easier.
Be sure to mark your cat's grave somehow, perhaps discreetly. It'll be important ten years from now for all of you.
Now, Don, according to your post, you had to put Boots down five years ago, however, later in your post you mention the last dog you lost (prior to Bear) was at 31. This would make you approximately 36, correct? Hot damn! I didn't know we were that close in age
Gene
Eli was my Great Pyrenees and one of my dearest companions. I may have saved him from the pound, but he saved me, too. It would be silly to say that I ever walked this dog - he weighed as much as me - instead I guess we walked each other. He had been a ranch dog, not ever really in a house before, not socialized around people much before his previous owner became ill and gave him up. He hadn't been groomed in well over a year when I got him. I spent days cutting away matted fur brushing, combing, clipping, we spent the time getting to know each other and trust each other. When we were done with the grooming we each had a new friend. I miss my friend terribly - his leash hangs from a peg by my door, ready for another walk - I can't give it away or put it away. I feel so lucky to have had the companionship of this great big gentle bear of a dog. Someday I may get another dog, but I know there will never be another Eli.
As an update the new kitty has wormed her way into everyones heart. We all have the battle wounds. Don't dare move your feet or hands and oh don't wear your hair in a ponytail or you might end up with a kitten hanging from your back by all four.
Shelby has marked her old cats grave and visits it every once in a while, just to share a few stories about the new kitten and to tell her that she misses her. Besides that Shelby is coping much better with the loss than I am. I still cry but I know that I made the best decision for the cat....and to think I wanted to be a Vet when I grew up. Good thing I didn't, I'd be a mess.
My husband, God Bless him, took care of all the final details. Thankfully, my baby passed away peacefully and quickly and we didn't have to make the horrendous decision to put him down.
We had his ashes brought home and all his little possessions put into a memory box. It's somehow oddly comforting to know that a piece of him is still with us.
I think there is a once in a lifetime pet and my little Pashama was that one...not to say that I won't get another one...but it won't be a replacement...it will be an addition. I believe that's probably the only way to heal a broken heart....to share whatever love you have with another little pup.
Ah, the price of great love is great grief!