A Good Bad Mood Joke
Don D
9,834 Posts
For all of us in a bad mood today...
Nine Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I
know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at
mycrotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and
change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is.Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they? I wanna kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give
me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What? Life is the longest damn
thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Nine Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I
know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at
mycrotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and
change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is.Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they? I wanna kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give
me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What? Life is the longest damn
thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Comments
Amanda
When people say, "Guess what?"
(Ummm, well, uh, idunno.)
When someone says "can I get you to . .. .. ?"
(Sure, all you have to do is ask me.)
When someone says "would you mind . . . ."
You answer "yes" and they think you'll do it.
Or you answer "no" and they think you won't.
"Sam"
Hey, if you haven't seen it yet, Readers Digest August issue had the "Fify Funniest Jokes Ever". They say everyone should know and be able to tell at least one good joke.
Paul in Cannon Beach
I also hate it when someone approaches you and says, "Question." Duh, why would you say that? It's like prefacing each of your comments with, "Joke.", "Statement.", "Idea.", "CYA." and then preceding with your joke, statement, idea or CYA comment. Whenever someone says, "Question." I always 8-| and respond, "Answer."
And in the meetings, there are those who conduct themselves the same way. No formalities, no genuine interraction, no manners, just, "Question!" They don't want to hear what I have to say at all. All they want is an answer, which they think they already know and often are going to dissect or criticize. I'm not a psychologist, but I play one on road trips.
Thank goodness I'm not alone with my complete and total annoyance of "Question." Maybe a grass roots effort is in order, from this point forward, whenever someone says, "Question.", our response should be to either verbally or nonverbally to show our complete and utter annoyance with the individual. Man! I feel like the evil HR Director from Dilbert x}> Wah ha ha ha ha!