Termination, Feeling Bad!
scottorr
599 Posts
Here is the situation. We are terminating someone today and I have known this for a week. During this time he has come to my office to make small talk and every time I feel bad knowing what was coming. I do my best to hide my knowledge but I fear my body language or expressions might give it away. I know I'm not alone but I still feel bad. Do any of my fellow forumaniacs have good suggestions for relieving these feelings and stress?
Comments
I don't know of any good things to tell you about the bad feelings, other than I think good HR people feel bad when people are terminated. Try to let yourself know that if this person wasn't performing, it may be a wake up call to do better in the next job. Or, perhaps this wasn't a good job match and he/she will succeed in a better job match next time. Also, if you are in on the termination - try to end the working relationship with dignity. As an HR person, that is my foremost goal in terminations and I feel that helps me out.
Then, go home this evening, have a beverage of your choice, have the SO rub your feet.
No magic answer, but I do my best to avoid those individuals in the time leading up to their termination. It is almost impossible for me to put on a "game face" and act as if everything is fine knowing what I must do to them later in the week. Those are days I rarely leave my office and spend more time on the fora.
Just kidding x;-)
Terminations, especially if the employee is well liked - but just not performing well, are the toughest. For me, I usually review the personnel file & make sure that the poor performanace was documented as well as the coaching plan - just to reassure myself that we did everything we could before it came to termination. Then, after the termination meeting, I ususally throw myself into facts, figures type of work (exercising the part of the brain that deals analytically rather than emotionally). Finally, when I get home at night, I hug my kid, and then snuggle up on my couch and watch a really stupid, intelligence eating TV show like Paradise Hotel or Temptation Island.
I did want to say thanks for all the great advice.
I didn't get to the forum in time. But I hold the belief that no employee should be shocked by his/her departure. If the employee is startled by the decision, someone along the way hasn't done his/her job. Never appologize or talk too much. That gut-wrenching feeling never goes away, but you exhibit composure on the outside.
I always hate issuing the news, of course, like everyone here on the Forum. The last term we had was a single male with two sons to support. He actually hugged me on his way out the door and said it was nice working with me.
"Sam"
We actually met with this ee every two weeks for the last three months. He still kept leaving the building and returning a couple of hours later. He was told that if this didn't stop that we would have to terminate and I guess he didn't think we were serious. Thank so much for the support, its great to know we have each other if no one else.