What Shaped Your Attitudes?

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Comments

  • He? I kind of pictured Chic as a "she". He/she flamed me on the "Forum or bonbon" thread. I typed in the listed hometown on a search function and it came back empty.


  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-18-03 AT 11:01AM (CST)[/font][p]My point. .think "he" and the hometown maybe bogus. Saw where "he" had dised you on the other. Here's one that will get you all throwing things at me . .Guess I just assumed it was a male because of the aggressiveness, not nice responses.. how's that for sterotyping. .Sorry in advance. .

    Edit. .I see I am now from NY..gosh, who needs a travel fund. .the forum can take me anywhere at no charge. .
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-18-03 AT 11:29AM (CST)[/font][p]What's happening is, for a moment, you take on the homestate of the previous poster. So sonny, for a bit, you were with Ray! And as soon as I hit the "post message" button, I'll be in FL. When all the posts line up, you're back where you belong.

    Chic's town doesn't exist, and his/her (I'm not convinced of your gender determination yet Ray) e-mail address is a very nondescript @peoplepc.com. Hmmm, verrrrry interesting.
  • We're still working on the glitch that puts people in the wrong state. It only occurs in threads that have so many replies that they get the "View all" option. If you click on "View all," the state names are correct.

    But if you click on the name of the thread (which gives you one message at a time), then the state names are messed up on individual messages.

    James Sokolowski
    State of Confusion
  • Sonny was with me in NY? And I missed it. I miss all the fun. Sonny, you can come visit me anytime you want and bring your "you-know-what".

    Funny, when I assumed Chic Wang was a she, I was stereotyping, too. Based on their other post, would a guy threaten another guy with a sewing pin cushion and call him a lizard? Sounds to me like a flame from an irate woman. But, you ladies may be right.

  • It was a quick trip Ray, as Leslie notes. .didn't have much time for social calls. Maybe next time. .
  • Thanks for seeing my post as it was - it's my life and they were the major influences. So that it's not viewed as a major downer by some, from those experiences I've gained:

    * Compassion when working with employees facing adversity.
    * A strong sense of what's right, what's wrong and when to call it a draw.
    * A firm belief that a sense of humor can go along way (one that I still am working on x;-).
    * People are basically good, but they may not always know how to express it.
    * You can't take life or relationships for granted.

    Because of my background, I've succeeded as a professional and as a good HR Manager. Finally, I'm most proud of how my son is growing up and learning these lessons - without having to 'live' through them as I did.
  • Ray,

    Isn't it funny how we both blamed the opposite sex. I thought after reading Chic Wang's post that the person was male. I checked out your bon bon post and saw that you were right - but you did have the advantage of the prior post!

    We can hope that her comments come from a lack of maturity and she'll grow up someday, therefore understanding the meaning of these posts. If she isn't young, well...

    Have a great week all.
  • SandiF, He/she admitted in the post above that they are young. So, your assessment is correct.

    I noticed they now have 3 posts. I wonder where the 3rd one is.
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-18-03 AT 12:01PM (CST)[/font][p]Ray, it's in the Employment Law section under Supervising as the HR manager. .
  • I like this thread. I think it shows how we have all overcome what could have defining moments (weeks, years) in our lives and have come out the better for that.

    My mom used to talk about how her life was so horrible because her parents died when they were in their 80's, and she had gotten a divorce, yada, yada, yada. It seemed as if she thought that the world had conspired against and only given her bad things. I decided I didn't want to be like that and I try not to talk about the "bad" things in my life, but ultimately the "bad" things are some of the positive things that you wind up despite the bad.

    Huh? I realize that's a weird sentence - but oh well!
  • What shaped my attitudes? Well a workaholic, religious father taught hard work and honesty. A smarter-than-I-was mother helped me see the error of my ways - she used the board of education over our derriers (sp?). Six sisters (I was the only son) reminded me that the fairer sex deserved respect. Seeing my younger sister's reaction when I told her with a straight face that she wasn't really our sister but adopted (which was not true) helped me see that teasing can be cruel. Decent, honest bosses (of both genders) gave me something to emulate in my professional youth. Crooked, devious bosses helped me make sure I wouldn't head in that direction or work for those that did.

    What continues to shape my attitude? A wonderful, strong-willed wife, four bright and capable sons, and my smiling, curly-haired, stinker of a daughter (age 2) help me remember each day that my values got me where I am and will keep me moving forward. And thank heavens for the wonderful people I work with.
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-18-03 AT 01:27PM (CST)[/font][p]I'd like to add my 2 cents worth, if you're ready for another post. This one turned out kind of long . . . but I couldn't help it! Very often, I think back to what made me "the way I am". Good or bad, I wouldn't change a thing.

    If these posts seem negative to some, they're not reading them closely enough. It's what made us who we are today.

    My father is an alcoholic and my mother was always covering for him in many ways. I grew up the oldest of five and we were all latch-key kids, coming home and fending for ourselves until our dad decided to come home from the bar. We hated each other, because we were always fighting without a parent to referee.

    We never sat in the same room with our dad, we had tv's in our rooms and would move to our rooms as soon as he came home.

    The only time he played baseball with us, went sledding with us or laughed with us was when he had been drinking. We'd still stick around and play, because it was the only attention we could get.

    When the bullies on the bus were picking on us, we made the mistake of telling our parents about it. My dad got drunk and visited the bullies at their home to discuss it with their parents. That was a shocker, hearing about it from the bullies on the bus the next morning. We were always the outcasts at the school.

    One day when walking to the gas station with my friends for lunch, I saw my dad's car there, getting unloaded from a tow truck. It had weeds and mud still on it from the river he had driven into last night. No wonder dad wasn't home yet when we went to bed last night! Of course, all of my friends knew it was my dad's car. Frankly, I wished several times that my dad would get arrested for drunk driving or get killed in an accident, so we could put this to an end.

    My mom stuck with it, as much as we wanted her to leave with us. She taught me to fight for what you want, stand up for yourself, don't give up. I've turned into a person who doesn't let things happen to her.

    My younger brothers and I no longer hate each other. We aren't super close, but we enjoy each other's company. We can discuss our growing-up years and laugh about them.

    My dad stopped drinking in 1988 and hasn't touched it since. My parents are still together. They give attention to my daughters that I should have had as a kid. They hug and kiss my daughters, I have yet to ever hug or kiss my parents.

    It's turned me into an aggressive-go-getter. I don't settle for anything. If I'm unhappy with a situation, I work my hardest to change it. Because I practically brought up my brothers, not to mention being the oldest child, I'm a leader and can't sit still.

    In a former post there was a smart remark about sounding like a country song. There is a song out right now as a matter of fact, it goes something like this: Dad don't stumble, because I'm walking in your footsteps. My friends are looking, please walk straighter. It was written about me, I think.

    I'm proud of my dad and the struggles he's been through. I've learned a lot from him, because of the situation I grew up in. He is the foreman at a huge foundry in our area and will be retiring in the spring. He is wonderful, loving, happy, honest, everything I wanted in a father 20 and 30 years ago. My children are better off because of what my father and mother taught me.

  • My son has taught me more than anyone or anything else. Robbie has been diagnosed Bipolar with ADHD, although I doubt the accuracy of these labels. The school system has to categorize everyone, so the label works for them, but as Robbie gets older (13 now) we'll figure out what he really is dealing with. Robbie has taught me the futility of pride - how to pick battles worth fighting and let the small things ride - that even the smallest person can overcome HUGE obstacles - that beauty lies in the heart and soul - that everyone is deserving of respect, help, support, patience and love - that a "handicap" is only a problem if no one shows you how to work around or overcome it. The biggest thing Robbie has taught me is that despite my many faults and weaknesses, I deserve love and happiness, and even though he is emotionally and socially delayed, he gives me both. What a wonderful kid! and what a long post! I wax poetic over my boy - he is such a neat kid, and I just hope beyond hope that he grows up to function independently and finds peace and happiness. I need a kleenex...!
  • MY Mom and Grandmother

    I have always been surrounded by strong women. My Grandmother in 1944 decided to divorce her husband because he abused her. I have always admired her strength and will to do this - especially in that time. My Mother is also a strong willed person - she always told me to: prepare my life to take care of myself - don't rely on anyone to take care of you. When she and my Dad got divorced after 30 years of marriage - I realized why she emphasized this. She was not prepared - I had just finished college and she and I lived together sharing expense. It was great - we had lean time - but so much fun together. I had always worked in my Dad's shop and to save money used all of my mechanical skills - something I took great pride in. I gained strength, confidence, and determination. When I got married and moved - about 5 hours from her - it was a big adjustment. She later transferred with her company and is now 1 1/2 hours from me. Her example and experiences have made me a much better person - prepared to take care of my son, myself and my husband - together or alone. I value the strong women I have always had in my life. I want to set the same example for my son - and have hime be proud of his mom and always feel safe with her.
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