The Warehouse Attorney

bamahr · July 2003

As long as I have been working HR - I have always had Employee Attorneys. I currently have a Warehouse Attorney. This is the employee who no matter what is distributed has a note they attach: The Signature Above Does Not Constitute Acceptance of BLAH BLAH BLAH.... Most of the time they have not read the information - his latest LEGAL NOTE was on HIPPA Notice. He made a note that the above signature did not constitute acceptance of any modication ....

WHAT?

Anyone else have Employee Attorney's working in their organization?

LarryC · July 2003

I once had an employee who was going through a divorce and had her own attorney. Her husband decided to represent himself and proceeded to create "discovery documents, summons, supoenas", etc. demanding information from me about the employee and my appearance at the divorce hearing. After I failed to give him anything, including my appearance, he sent me a letter saying I "was in contempt of court". While the employee's attorney and I found it all rather humorous, the divorce court judge did not. The husband / "attorney" was ordered to stop his charade before he ran afoul of some impersonation laws (such as impersonating an intelligent being). I expect that one of these days he will "deputize" himself and come and "arrest" me....after he reads me "my rights".

LeeR · July 2003

One I seem to hear alot off is, I have a friend who works for an attorney, EEOC etc and they said...

TALLEY · July 2003

Did you ever notice how many of your employees seem to have an attorney at the ready, as if on retainer. The first words out of their mouths are - "you'll be hearing from my attorney". Gosh, if something happened to me and I discovered I needed legal advice, I would have to search for an attorney. It's just not something that I'm prepared to deal with on such short notice.

clarkbar · July 2003

We have employees who refer to "my attorney" as well. I want to know how someone making slightly over minimum wage can keep an attorney on retainer. I make a lot more than that and I can't afford it!

LarryC · July 2003

And how about the "family attorney"? Is that something like the family dog, or what?

"Honey, did you feed the attorney today?"

"Honey, I'll be back in a while. I'm going to take the attorney for walk."

"Honey, get in here and look at what the attorney did on the living room rug!"

This is too much fun.

Don D · July 2003

One of our engineers is married to a woman who graduated law school, has not taken the bar and naturally has never practiced law. She is barefoot and pregnant, married 4 years with 3.5 kids. He says on a daily basis, "Well, you know my wife is an attorney and she says........"

On my second day here he told me his wife is an attorney and he is allowed under FMLA to come in late or leave early anytime she is having problems with the kids.

Today he told me we have an assembly employee who complained to him that HR had charged her one half point for being in court. He went on to tell me his wife is an attorney and penalizing an ee for being in court is against the law besides being unfair. The Forum does not have sufficient screen room for me to detail my reply to him, my subsequent meeting with his manager or my followup conversation with this engineer.

Whatever · July 2003

In the last few years, we have not lost a single arbitration. We have been helped by the fact that the shop steward (who is also a union trustee) has not learned to be quiet and let the attorney talk. He has complained that the attorney the union uses is "too quiet and gentlemanly". I have been told that at the next arbitration, the union will be represented by a new attorney who according to the shop steward to me is "not afraid to bang on the table, tell the arbitrator what the law is, and is willing to play second chair to the shop steward." I can't wait for this arbitration.

The Warehouse Attorney

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