His baby, but not his spouse

Ruskanen · March 2003

I have an employee who is unmarried, and he and his girlfriend are expecting a child soon. I know that he is eligible for FMLA for the birth of the child, but would FMLA cover him to accompany the mother of his child to her prenatal appointments? We are not a company that offers leave of absence or benefits to unmarried partners, but it is HIS baby.

Don D · March 2003

Hush Yo Mouf! This can't be true! And how do we know whose baby it is? But I don't think that's the issue. One isn't called upon to prove parentage for FMLA. No, I think he would NOT be eligible to provide transportation for the mother-to-be. I'm not sure he would be if it were his well wife either. Why is he necessary at the visit? Is the sonogram that important to him? You can borrow my soapbox and get aboard and tell him to read a book about parental responsibility. Sorry, I should edit out that last comment........

CD PHR · March 2003

Agree with Don, he would be eligible for leave after the birth (for bonding and/or if the baby has a serious health condition). He would not be eligible to take FML to assist the mother, since she is not his spouse. (Girlfriends are not included in the definition of family member under the Act.)

AnneLa · March 2003

If you have Personal time as a benefit, perhaps he could use that time for doctors visits.

Margaret Morford · March 2003

I think if he were married to the mother, he probably would be eligible for FMLA to take her for her doctor visits. She gets FMLA for pre-natal care because it is considered a serious illness, so why woulodn't he be allowed FMLA to care for her? I'm sure this area is ripe for abuse, but I think if they were married, he'd get FMLA.

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Don D · March 2003

I would not think he'd be covered unless her condition was such that she absolutely had to have him take her to the appointment, as in bedridden or unable to drive an automobile herself. If her condition is that bad, perhaps she is going to be put in the hospital anyway. Obviously this is a man's opinion who has very little personal experience with the process of childbirth.

bethann · March 2003

touchy...we have that here. 2 ee's diff. departments. One missed, they both miss. Our company requires a dr note on each office visit, this covers her, but it is not medically necessary for him to be there. I had to talk to him. Our company will allow him to make up time missed for her appointments. He has to work his 40 hours. The couple tried to cry discrimination on them missing so much time due to pregnancy, dosent work when the HR mgr is preg herself, has a toddler at home, and still manages to work 45 hrs a week! lol My advise to you, as long as he makes his hours for full time status, and performace is good, do nothing, if not, talk to him. Fathers have a right to be involved in the pregnancy too (married or not).

Leslie · March 2003

If the mother of the child also works for you it's a combined 12 weeks FMLA - all this chargable.

cappyfire · April 2003

We just went through this. Two employees not married to each other had a baby. FLMA was applied to them not as a shared 12 weeks but as 12 weeks to each person. The act of being married would have brought them under the shared 12 weeks rule. As single people they were entitled to the 12 weeks since there was no marriage title to share. Go figure. . . The decision was made at a higher level than me.

macbritt · April 2003

Another thing to consider? Does your state recognize common law marriage and does he refer to the baby's mother as wife, etc.? As long as he refers to her as the girlfriend then I agree - not eligible for FMLA to provide care and comfort to her.

His baby, but not his spouse

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