In trouble....HELP

MB1004 · March 2005

I apologize in advance for the length, but I would appreciate it if you have any advice, I really need professional opinions.....

One year ago, I was forced to hire my bosses wife as the receptionist. My boss is the GM for the company, at the top of the organization besides the board, I work directly for him, then the receptionists work for me. She was only supposed to be temporary, then she turned into fulltime w/o my consent. I'm the HR Manager. I have had more complaints about her rude demeanor on the phone than I can possibly count. It has been an issue throughout the entire year that I constantly have to speak with her about, but she just doesn't get it-she has an excuse for every time she's been rude and doesn't take responsiblity for her actions. She is leaving the company for other reasons and her last day was to be 3/31/05, which meant I still had to give her an annual review. She received a good score, with areas for improvement in phone demeanor, etc. SHE WENT NUTS! Said that everyone told her that she was the best receptionist ever, I made a mistake, she's never had complaints about her, and on and on. She's started emailing other employees about me, made up blatant lies that I can prove(recently and in the past), is asking her husband to write me up, is harassing other employees about getting involved, etc. She decided to leave early...yesterday would have been her last day, but left me a message this morning that she wants to come in again and discuss why I'm wrong and how I made a mistake in not specifically telling her that answering the phone professionally and kindly was her number 1 priority. I've talked with her husband/my boss, about this and since all he's heard all year long is stuff she's said at home and not about all the complaints and what's really been going on, he doesn't believe me. He thinks I've scored her inappropriatly and has started yelling at me saying that his wife does not lie. The problem is that she was a horrible receptionist and should have been let go, but I was afraid I would loose my job b/c he doesn't see clearly on this issue. Now my performance which was an "Outstanding" before is being affected. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, taking FMLA leave in a couple of months and I fear that this is adversly affecting my job and in the worst case scenerio, I will be fired. Do you think I have any legal recourse if this happens? Or am I overreacting? Any opinions would be great as there's really nobody in my company that I can talk to.

Gillian3 · March 2005

No, I don't think that you are overreacting. Sorry, but I don't have anything positive in terms of fixing the problem. Unfortunately, there isn't much that can be done about family relationships, especially when the GM is part of the relationship and is backing the other side, rightly or wrongly. As to legal recourse, there isn't much there at this stage. Should you go out on FMLA, you would have reinstatement rights and the failure to bring you back to the same or comparable position would create some legal recourse. It is certainly bad timing, but it is probably time to look for alternatives to this employer.

Hunter1 · March 2005

Well, you've been put in a bad spot, but for the moment, it appears that you are overreacting. You didn't state that your review has been affected at this time. Also, I don't believe that not supervising the boss' wife correctly, puts you in a protected class. If you're an at will employee and he doesn't base his decision on an illegal basis, you're going to have a hard time proving discrimination.

You have to make the call on how to handle the situation - apparently you have had a good relationship with the boss. I'd let things settle down a bit and see if you can't resolve it. But, you're in the best position to decide how to 'manage your boss'.

MB1004 · March 2005

Thanks-right now, I'm just looking at the worst case scenerio and preparing myself. My review is in 3 weeks, so we will see how that goes. Hopefully, my boss will be able to set this all aside and look at the situation professionally. If not, then you're right, it might be time to start looking at other employers.

Dasher · March 2005

Exactly what advice are you seeking at this point? Okay -- I'll bite:

1. Do not let a performance evaluation be the first time you counsel an employee on poor performance -- it should never be a surprise.

2. Have and follow a good neopotism policy -- even when it is easier to let the boss' wife work.

3. Document, document, document, document.

4. Have a good and healthy baby -- and don't sweat the small stuff (and it is all small stuff even when it looks like an elephant).

MB1004 · March 2005

The sad thing is that her review should not have been a surprise. She was counseled numerous times over the year, with the last incident being just last week. She just has one of those personalities that hears what they want to hear and believes what they want to believe, regardless of what you tell them. We have a nepotism policy but he felt it wouldn't be an issue since she would be working for me, not him. I've got a replacement already, and hopefully this all blows over soon. When I think about it, I guess what I was looking for was....say I'm let go because he says I'm not performing up to par or I'm unprofessional. Yet everything was better than great before she started and now he's making his decision off information from her b/c there's nothing in my performance that would indicate otherwise. Do I have any recourse? I think about it and no matter how many times I do, it just seems unfair and unethical, but not illegal were it to happen.

pork1 · March 2005

MB1004: Two months to let the air clear and the stress to lessen, your number #1 priority is to find a replacement receptionist. You should not worry about an evaluation from the General Manager, even if it is less than outstanding it is not a termination. In two months your FMLA will kick in and you can then decide the "stress is worth your time and efforts" or is taking care of the new born more important. You should keep your options open and your focus on taking care of your primary responsibilities as the company HR and let the additional duty of supervising the receptionist position be the concern of the GM.

Good luck with the office, and may you days ahead be Blessed with over powering Joy.

PORK

dchr9203 · March 2005

Without getting into what probably should have/could have been done differently, I think that your GM is probably very aware of his wife's "quirks", and probably secretly knows how she is or can be. He is obligated by marriage to rise to her defense. Once she's gone from the company and the position, its possible it will all blow over. I'm not sure considering the heated nature of this situation that I would entertain her request to "discuss" your assessment of her performance. Se's gone; doesn't work there anymore; what's the point, other than giving her an opportunity to berate you. That I would not allow. If she won't go away or persists, inform her she can formally document her disagreement in writing, send it to you, and you will include it in her employee record. If you get a bad review, be professional and calmly state why you disagree with his assessment, formally document your disagreement in writing, then move on. As long as you continue to be the professional, it will probably all blow over.

Balloonman1 · March 2005

It will probably blow over, but since you are going on leave I would make a copy of all documentation you have related to her performance, and her behavior following the review. If worst case ever happens it will be to late to go get it, and hey files do get loset. But if you have a copy of it, say........in your basement tucked away, and you are let go illegally, well then you will have some documentation. I am a big believer in self preservation, though I have only had to do this once. The corporate HR Director understood the position I was in, and the information (documentec discrimination) that I had full knowledge of. It made negotiating the repayment of my relocation package significantly easier. It will all probably blow over, even more likely if you have a duplicate set of documentation.
HOpe you have a great happy healthy kiddo!!!!
My $0.02 worth.
The Balloonman

Don D · March 2005

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-19-05 AT 03:37AM (CST)[/font][br][br]If you're 32 weeks pregnant and you're 'going out on FMLA in a couple of months', something's wrong with your math. I suggest you not wait until you're 40 months pregnant to take FML.

The oddest thing about your story, however, is that you would review a person who turned in her resignation.

Quoting you, "I have had more complaints about her rude demeanor on the phone than I can possibly count. It has been an issue throughout the entire year that I constantly have to speak with her about, but she just doesn't get it-she has an excuse for every time she's been rude and doesn't take responsiblity for her actions."

You are a Human Resources Manager and you did not document any of that?

Pardon my scepticism. It may be based in part on my recollection of your post last year titled "Smelley and Psycho" in which you rather humorously discussed your receptionist's gastric bypass on the Har de har har section. You do seem to have a run of luck with your various receptionists. Good luck with the next one. x:-)

MB1004 · March 2005

Don-
You do like to pick on people don't you? Why post, if your posting offers no help-simply for your own amusement?

You do the math....32 weeks pregnant, pregnancy is counted as 40 weeks, leaving me with 8 weeks to go. I'd say that's about 2 months, wouldn't you? :-)

And yes, it's odd that I had to review her, but it was required-she originally had 3 weeks left when her review came up.

And yes, of course I have everything documented. I figured that was a given fact and didn't need to include that in the story. I have copies of everything and all my ducks in a row, I was just originally looking for opinions to see if anyone thought all my little duckies would help if worst came to worst. As I said before, I saw no real legal recourse, but I thought I'd see what other thoughts were out there.

marc · March 2005

Even when counseling is verbal, I encourage the supervisor to jot down some notes. If the behavior is corrected, no big deal - the notes go away. If not, the notes get incorporated into the EEs file with the next occurence. There is a distinction between coaching and writing up a verbal warning. Sounds like you should have been documenting the coaching and the complaints.

If the worst case does happen, do you have an appeals process? Do you have a nepotism policy? This kind of information could serve you well if you get to the GM's direct report.

There are probably several lessons here - but they will have to wait for the next time to be used.

hrdir03nafcu · March 2005

I don't think you're overreacting: what I don't see, though, is why you would want to continue working in this situation-- for a boss who overrules an existing nepotism policy, and for his wife, no less, and takes her side against her supervisor when problems arise (as they almost certainly will in a situation like that)?

I think what I would do in this situation is:

1) refuse to meet with the wife/former receptionist. If she wants to appeal her review, she can appeal it to hubby, and he can deal with the problem he created(!)

2) as others have advised, DOCUMENT all of this-- esp. any documentation of complaints you may have about the former receptionist's work behavior, and your previous attempts to counsel her on her behavior.

3) given steps 1 and 2, above, if the boss then fires you, I think you would have at least a good circumstantial case for pregnancy discrimination. If he has no other reason than his wife's complaints about your review of her work, that seems to me not much basis to fire someone whose previous performance review was "outstanding".

4) while you're out on FMLA leave, you'll have time to think about whether you really want to return to this situation. And maybe to start looking around for other opportunities, too.

Sounds like this situation could maybe blow over (in your favor)-- but I don't think I would ever be able to again trust a boss who's willing to bend/break rules in this way for his own family members. After all, if it comes to choosing you, or his wife/other family member, who do you think he's likely to go with?

Good luck!
hrdir03nafcu

Hunter1 · March 2005

Wow! No reflection on you, MB1004, but I'll never understand why 'regular' employees see discrimination behind every corner, much less HR professionals. There has been no indication that I'm aware of that there has been any illegal discrimination in this case, yet some of you think that there is some possibility of a case. Do you want employees like this??? Just because she happens to be pregnant, there might be a case? He might be a bad boss who doesn't follow the rules, but discrimination?

You're like my wife who works for a small family owned business and she thinks that her boss shouldn't be able to fire her and hire his wife if the wife gets laid off from her job, just because he wants to. No reason, no discrimination. Just keeping the money in the family.

Rockie · March 2005

Always a bad mix to put family (especially spouses) working in the same office. I'd keep a copy of all my documentation on this person, along with a copy of the nepotism policy.

Hopefully, in a couple of months, this will blow over and will not be an issue at your review.

But...as someone else said...you might want to think about other options. It would be very difficult to work for( or respect)someone who insisted that you bend the nepotism policy to hire his wife and then let her negative comments unduly influence him. This is just a bad situation all around and I'd start looking for other employment opportunities while I had the chance.

njjel · March 2005

Good advice from the last poster and I would follow it. It sounds like you are a good HR person and hey if he fires you (which I don't think he will), there are other jobs out there that would love to have you! good luck with it all!

MB1004 · March 2005

Thanks for your words of support. I keep my fingers crossed that it all blows over eventually, but I've already come to the conclusion that while I'm out on leave, I should start taking a look out there to see what's available and really think about whether I want to continue to work for someone like this.

As an update, she actually hasn't left us yet. She was supposed to decide on Friday if she would be finishing out her last two weeks or not. But then she called in sick and said she needed more time and that she would be in to discuss why everything was my fault b/c she didn't know that as the receptionist, being here and answering the phone politely and professionally were her top priorities. Obviously we won't be having that conversation, but if she presses the issue, one of the owners will be sitting in on any further discussions.

HRCalico · March 2005

Good luck, MB. If she keeps pushing the issue, refer her to your official grievience policy (if you have one - if not, get to writing!) and refuse to discuss it any further except via that avenue. If she has to do something besides berate you and yell at you, she may decide to drop it. I agree that this has been pretty unfair - not to mention stressful! I would say that any legal reprocussions would stem from how they handle your return from FML (i.e. whether or not you still have a job.)

Also, my only board experience is in non-profits, but can you talk to anyone on the board? I'm not sure what the procedure is there, but the standard rule is that if your supervisor is giving you trouble, you go to their supervisor.

MB1004 · March 2005

HRCalico-
Our board consists of the 4 owners, my boss who owns a very small portion, and 3 others. The other 3 owners were out of town the entire week and 1 (who is the majority owner) returned on late Friday. The other 2 are still gone. All in all it was very bad timing for all of this to happen. I did speak with the one owner/board member about the situation and he will be sitting in on any further discussions. He'll also be monitoring the situation as it developes with my boss/my review, etc. We'll see how it goes!

In trouble....HELP

Comments