Delivering Bad News...

JM in ATL · March 2004

I'm just stuck on this. I have an ee who has applied for a newly created position. Along with all other candidates she interviewed and gave a presentation (PR type job).

Back in November she applied for another job, and we offered it to her, but she turned it down b/c she wasn't ready to relocate which would have been required.

However the PR job requires someone with an outstanding personality. We have had personality issues with her in the past where she is very standoffish and to some intimidating and can come across as down right nasty.

Obviously not the right person for the job, and so we offered it to someone outside the company. Now I have to call her and tell her she didn't get the job and I just don't know what to say. I want to be sincere and understanding, but don't want to hurt her feelings by saying that if she had a better personality she would have been considered more closely. Any suggestions?

FunHRBanker · March 2004

Make it simple and to the point. You chose a candidate who more closely matched the requirements of the job. You can tell her it was a tough decision, but you did offer the job to someone else.

deniseE · March 2004

We send letters, even to our internal applicants...simply stating that we selected another candidate who's qualifications more closely matched the details of the job description.

Sometimes being an internal interviewee has it's advantages and other times not...this being one of them...

Gillian3 · March 2004

If you have to deliver the news and answer why, take the opportunity to do some career counseling. You don't have to tell her she has a crappy personality, but you should tell her the results of her interactions with others, using examples.

Pork · March 2004

JM in ATL: In all of my experience and teaching others about leadership, I have found we humans need to be told when our personality in an organization is not fitting. If I have a fault and you want me to have a "behavioral change" to more appropriately enhance my career and the organization, the first thing you must do is to tell me what behaviors are crossing the paths of others. You should not be a generalist, tell me specificly, what,when,where, and how my specific behavior was played out.

Your words tend to tell me that someone, who is this out of sink, should be told the truth and to heck with the feelings. This is business and we can not walk around on egg shells waiting for the rotten one to break! The team, the company, and all the other great employees are deserving more than a "whitewash" with this person.

Our Accounting Manager is just that person, and the company is suffering today because no one told her the truth when she was coming up in the business world that the higher in statue she grows up the flag post, the more that people can see the under world of her being! Now that is truly un-fair, but we do it every day because of our own short comings.

Some body get a back bone and save this person from her own worst enemy or keep on keeping on and aking for suggestions; it only gets worst the longer we skirt the real issues.

PORK

JM in ATL · March 2004

Actually, I already had this conversation with her in December. She expressed an interest in the position then and I told her that she was standoffish and that she would need to work on that. She said that she understood and actually agreed and said that she would work on it. It was a good two hour heart to heart.

I offered to help her with it by counseling and training, but I told her that she would have to take the inititive to want to improve, that I wouldn't force the training on her. I left the ball in her court (which unfortunately is in antoher state).

I think her attitude improved, but I don't think you can change someone's personality. She is a great person, don't get me wrong, but if you don't know her, she comes across as aloof.

I think that is why it is so hard to tell her that she didn't get the job b/c we had that nice long heart to heart and really built a good relationship and I think most of all I am going to destroy what we built by telling her that she didn't get the job.

It is very important to me that my employees trust me and are comfortable talking to me and it takes time to build that trust and confidence. I don't want to crush it all in one day.

Anyway, I guess I need to figure this out on my own b/c it's hard to ask advice from others who aren't as involved in the situation and know the specifics.

Nevermind, but thanks anyway.

Cinderella · March 2004

Hold the phone.

JM, good for you for giving the heart to heart and offering help and good for this ee who wanted and tried to change. That being said, it is perfectly fine to want to change in December and not have the hang of it by March. If she truely is working on it and wants to be at the company for the long haul, then I believe she CAN do it. However, a couple of months might not do it - we're talking about probably years and years of behaving a certain way here.

I would tell her, "Sally, we ended up choosing another person for the job - one who most closely meets the needs of the position at this time. I know that you have been working on some of your skills lately and want to encourage you to continue to do so" ect ect. Just my take on it.

Paul in Cannon Beach · March 2004

JM,

If its not too unusual for your organization, consider taking the employee to lunch. Break the news gently but let her know that you value her contribution and you appreciate that she is interested in advancement.

Give her a bit of your time and she will know that you aren't treating her like every other applicant. Hopefully her dissapointment will be softened by knowing you took an extra step to consider her feelings.

Its amazing how far a little personal touch will go.

Crout · March 2004

>It is very important to me that my employees trust me and are comfortable talking to me and it takes time to build that trust and confidence. I don't want to crush it all in one day.

If you really think that trust is important, you'll be as honest with her as you can. Avoiding the delivery of bad news or sugar-coating it will actually undermine the trust she has in you.

Don D · March 2004

Personalities and attitudes are not soft, round balls of carefully patted out tan, riverbottom clay thrown upon a potter's wheel to be molded, pushed, pulled, sponge-wetted, thinned, trimmed and perfected at the whim of the potter. Once formed, neither personality nor attitude changes permanently. Although an employer has every right to do so, we might also question it's subjective definitions of 'outstanding personality', 'personality issues', 'standoffishness', 'intimidating' and 'downright nasty', and the final qualifier - 'if she had a better personality'.

Having said that, If she does not fit the mold you have formed for this particular position,tell her so. It seems as simple as telling her what you were looking for, telling her where she fell short of that and wishing her well in future requests for promotion or transfer. If she has any analytical ability at all, she can put it together herself without any further cozy noon luncheons or 'let me save you from yourself' discussions.

Note: The preceeding is my personal opinion and has no value beyond that. Although it may be 'sorta offensive' or 'indeed offensive' to someone out there, it is offered without regard to that possibility. Should you find yourself alarmed by my post, you may privately mail me to protest or you may alert the principal's office. x:-)

E Wart · March 2004

Did you make the final decision or did someone else? If someone else, try to find out from them what they felt she lacked (could improve on). Then when you talk with her, you might address it from the aspect that she obviously wants to change jobs/get promoted or whatever it is (since she has applied for 2 jobs.) She wasn't chosen for this one (based on what everyone else said.) Again can reference your other discussion and say that you see improvement, but not long enough for her changes to be seen by everyone (if this is true). Also, talk with her about her long term goals, what area she really enjoys and wants to progress to, and how she and her supervisor (isn't that who usually works with the person to improve) need to work on as a team. Work with the supv to set up an improvement plan for her in her next review (including things such as special assignments, courses she should take, improvements in behavior, attendance, or whatever. Also, if she is hell bent on going into an area that her personality and skills are not "designed for", maybe someone needs to be honest with her and lead her in other directions where she could succeed. (ie. if she seems brash, maybe she would be better in a research time of position instead of a customer contact type). You don't want her to become known as the cronic job poster and never get the job. Channel in on what she can do and do it well. You are right, some of it should be in her court to initiate, but also her supv. should be helping her along as well. If she truly wants to improve, she will welcome your comments and assistance, even though it may help.
E Wart

Grinch · March 2004

Being honest is best, which does not mean having to directly tell her she has a crappy personality. Spin it the other way. Explain what qualities got the job. She should be able to figure out that the qualities that got someone else the job are qualities that she's perceived NOT to have.

From there you can spring board into a discussion about her gaining those qualities, without dredging up the fact that you had that discussion. She'll pick up on it without having to have been embarresed or feel threatened. It's all about positive spin.

marc · March 2004

I know you said "Never mind" in your last post, thinking the forumites are not close enough to the situation to give meaningful input. As you can see, that does not stop us from trying.

A large part of HR responsibilities in our shop has to do with employee development. That does not come easy because sometimes to truly develop means the EEs have to go elsewhere to flourish in the areas in which they can excel.

You have some insight on this EE that is difficult to share, including some personal investment in her development, but you know she does not have the outgoing, gregarious type of personality to succeed in the job. That does not mean she has a bad personality, it just means she does not fit this particular job.

You have been presented with the school of thought that says "...just tell her someone else better fit the job and let it go at that...," which appears to not meet your needs. Or the approach Pork suggests which basically says, don't hide from the issues, bring them up or she will never get to confront the things she needs to change in order to develop.

And Don's wonderful description of the somewhat intractable nature of personality. Great descriptive talent that man has. In any event, IMHO, it takes some sort of "lightning strike" before a person can really change and that sort of force rarely comes from not getting a particular job.

The nastiness perceived by others, the intimidating nature of her interaction or the aloofness are all general, hazy kinds of descriptions that do not give a person much to work on. It's like criticizing someone for a bad attitude. It does not give you much to work with. Instead, focus on the behaviors, not the qualitative descriptors of those behaviors. Nasty is just such a descriptor, instead focus on the specific event that others perceived as "Nasty." Like the time she ran over the grandmother as she slowly pushed her walker across the parking lot was an example of unacceptable behavior.

You seem to have a feel for this person, but her failure to qualify for a job is not your failure since you have offered to help if she really wants it. Keep the offer open and be supportive of the type of behavior you want her to exhibit. Positive role modeling is a great tool.

I guess I have rambled on just about far enough.

Delivering Bad News...

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