Question of ethics?

sk8n · August 2003

We are a non-profit association, small headquarters staff under 20, a board of directors (none of whom are located locally). A staff member (director level) seemed to have a relationshp with a board member a year ago (they are both single)and I talked with the board president, then the board member and the staff person about the impropriety and judgement of such a relationship. Each acknowledged my message and the president told the board member that IF any relationship developed, it should be totally discreet, or with full disclosure. A year later, I am now aware that the relationship is a fully involved one, and not altogether discreet, nor fully disclosed to me (snipets of info came out over the course of several days of meetings and I "figured it out"). The President has been aware of it and accepted, if not encouraged, it over the past months, if not the whole year. (He and board member are best friends.) It came to my attention when staff member requested time off for a tropical vacation...only to learn it was along with not only the board member, the president and his wife, but three other board members and spouses.

My feeling is that either the staff person should leave, or the board member should resign if the relationship is "open" and becoming widely known. The trouble is that she is the most productive, creative, hard working employee on staff and he is the most visionary, proactive board member we have, and is slated to be an officer next year. Either, or both, would be a huge loss for the association. Nor would either resignation be taken lightly or accepted as a result of conflict of interest. As CEO, I must consider the overall affect and impact on the association. Trouble is, those involved have been unable to see my point of view that this is a conflict of interest, that it is not the individuals involved, it is the impropriety of any staff member socializing with board members (other than at prescribed events, meetings, etc.). Wehn she and I talked about this, she told me she was planning on leaving at the end of our fiscal year (next June) because it would be time enough to follow through with the essential associaiton calendar of events, and allow her time to get everything in order to turn over and train a replacement.----

The organizational chart, practice and job descriptions of the association clearly define role of CEO-Board relationship and that staff reports to me, not the board. My effectiveness, authority and credibility with staff will erode, hints and outright accusations of favoritism will surface, and the possibility for bypassing me will affect direct communication of essential programs, policy and governance issues. (Already has happened.)

Now the wrench in the mix: this staff person was engaged to my son two years ago. Without my knowledge, or that of any others, they dated for four months before any disclosure. I told the board president right away, and we all discussed the situaiton and the appearance of potential issues (favoritism, unprofessionalism, etc.) Over the course of their relationship, it was clear that she and I could maintain a professional relationship and it did not affect her performance, but her outright friendliness to everyone draws people to her and results in other less confident staff to think she is 'favored' or treated differently--which in not the case.

Now, however, the situation, I feel is different, although she does not agree. She asks how is this different -- a board member, or my son...either way, it's her personal life and should not have any bearing on the work she does in the office.

Am I way off base? Should I keep out of the personal lives of my staff? Or is this a conflict of interest, a disaster waiting to happen, or what? I guess I'd like some guidance, even words to use, to substantiate my feelings about this. Thanks for any insight or suggestions.

System · August 2003

Actually, I do not see a problem or that a conflict of interest is present. What are you considering the conflict? - that she is an employee and having a relationship with a board member? Does their relationship impact the day-to-day operations of the agency? How much interaction does the board member have in regard to the overall operation of your agency? You stated that both of the people involved are assets to the agency and if there is no business impropriety, isn't that all that is really relevant? Where does the conflict come into play? It is human to wonder what anyone is getting because of friendship or whatever, but if there is no proof that the lady is receiving special work favors, let it go.

sonny · August 2003

I basically agree with winebarger. I worked at a Director level for a non profit for 12 1/2 years and took your characters and applied them to my experience. At the Director level, I really didn't influence board decisions and doubted I could have even if I was having a relationship with one of them. Platonically, I was good friends with at two board members over the years. It was never an issue.I suppose if there was a major issue effecting your staff persons area there could be talk, but you have all the other board members. Now, if it was you and the board chair. .that might be another story. . .

That having been said, at my last job, the ED's admin. asst. starting messing around with the board chair. .they were both life forms lower than pond scum. The AA got a bit greedy and weird and went off on a real smear campaign that ended up being instrumental in the ED losing her job of 20 years. Frankly, the ED, (who is a dear friend)probably need to get out of there, but it got VERY ugly. Thank God I was gone by then, but got ear fulls from 1100 miles away.

There is always the potential of problems if they break up, but you have said these are high caliber folks. .You and your staff person have survived her break up with your son. While this is not the best of situations (any more so than other office relationships) you have made your feelings known to the Board Chair (who I presume is your boss)and others. I think you need to move on and maybe ask yourself if you would feel this strongly if the staff member had not been your son's former fiancee. The answer may well be yes.. .but still think this is a bigger mountain than it needs to be.

Sorry for my babbling

ray a · August 2003

I would tend to agree with the other two. As long as the staff member reports to you and not the board member, then there is less chance for a problem. When two people in a relationship are also subordinate/boss, there could be significant problems with actual favoritism. In your case, it could be more of a perception. You may feel obliged to be more lenient with this particular staff member. So, the key to making it work may be with you. This relationship may cause you to be uncomfortable, but in time, it may work out without incident.

mwild31 · August 2003

Do you have policies in place for dating in the workplace or ethics? I'm curious though why the rest of the employees would feel as though it was favoritism though? Policies are good not just for enforcement, but also education. When employees know what's okay or not okay it makes it easier during any future discussions when they go against the policies. If the situation was different and say one or both was not performing it would be a much easier answer - let one or both go for poor performance, however, since both sound as though they are a huge advantage to your company, I have to say I agree with the other posts.

sk8n · August 2003

I have asked myself to honestly assess whether this is more personal than I thought, but if take this staff person out of the picture, and put, say, a male staff person in the situation -- entertaining and socializing, vacationing with other board members -- I feel the same way. Maybe it's because we had an issue in the past where this type of friendliness caused several staff members to bypass me and go directly to board members with issues, questions, program plans/ideas, and it caused a communications gap. One board member asked me why I didn't have control of my staff? So that is me "fear" about some of this.

This staff person was asked to go to an out of town meeting, by the president and this board member, to participate -- instead of me -- when my presence was vital to the meeting (they later realized), and I was powerless to do anything about it. (Some may feel she is traveling on company funds to have opportunities for their relationship together?)

I WILL rely on their professionalism to conduct business in a suitable manner, but I will assert my opinion when a situation such as that meetng ever comes up again. Maybe that is the underlying issue here -- my feeling loss of control because the president and board member defer to a personal relationship instead of using good business sense for the best interests of the association.

Thanks for you input!

mwild31 · August 2003

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-01-03 AT 05:38PM (CST)[/font][p]Wow - your honesty is awesome! Don't beat yourself up too much though. Knowing how you feel about this, you may want to institute a policy of some sort to ward against future situations ('grandfather' the two already involved) and go forward.

I absolutely hate (I know it's a strong word) dating in the workplace and I wish it would just go away! Jeez, go to the bars like the rest of us drunks, ah hmm, singles x;-)! I also say that because I realize that the impact of bad relationships/dating to working conditions in a small company can be monumental! Hang in there!

System · August 2003

Guess what, you analyzed the real problem! Congratulations. Yes, the meeting aspect is the key. You should have gone and I believe that board realizes that now. Too late for that particular meeting, but ask for the specifics of the meeting and any minutes, agendas, handouts, etc., for the administrative files for reference and I bet they don't forget to include you again. x:D

I have a question - when meetings are scheduled, aren't participants advised in advance - for travel purposes, agenda items, reservations, etc? Hang in there. You have stated your concern for proper ethics to the proper chain of command (I assume you have written documentation to this also), so just bide time and see what happens in the future. Rest easy.

mbeam · August 2003

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-04-03 AT 10:18AM (CST)[/font][p]Another point to add would be whether they consulted with you about your direct report attending the meeting. If not, would make sure that they know this is important for any future meetings (review attendees, agenda's, etc. in advance) to make the time as productive as possible. You should have the opportunity at this point to remind them that you need to approve attendance at the event for your staff member since she reports directly to you.

This also keeps the reporting relationship cleaner as pointed out in a separate message (which should be a plus to all involved also).

sk8n · August 2003

I have covered all the issues of the meeting, and future meeetings, with all parties, and NOW they agree with me. The board members present expected more of the staff person than she was able to provide, as she is not a spokesperson for the association and cannot, or would not, make statements on my behalf. To her credit, she objected that I did not attend for that reason, at the time of the meeting. I have also put some procedures in place for attendance of staff that have been followed since that time (about 8 months now).

So all this said, am I still missing the point about impropriety? If the staff member has a direct conduit to an influencial board member, and the board member in turn discusses any association business - strategy, planning, thoughts about direction or policy with a staff member -- is that acceptable? I guess I have some discomfort with learning some critical piece of information after the fact, or by accident, as has happened a couple times already.

Thanks for all the input so far.

Crout · August 2003

If I read you correctly, she is leaving by the end of next June, so your resolution is on the horizon. What about the by-laws governing the board? Do they not address this issue? If not they should. The fact that she was taken to the conference in your place is, to my mind, proof enough that there is a conflict of interest. Would a male director have been asked to attend? A quick true story: I too work for a non-profit. A few years ago one of our division directors established an alliance with two of our board members and tried to float a proposal to the entire board to break off his division and form a separate company....with him as president, naturally. Fortunately, sanity prevailed and he left a few months later. I think your concerns are more than justified.

System · August 2003

Even in non-profit settings, the Board answers to someone. If you have clearly communicated the risks to those involved (whether real or perceived) then they proceed with that knowledge.

We too are non-profit - much worse. We're a public entity with elected officials. We have clear guidelines on supervisor/subordinate relationships and insubordination; which is when someone bypasses their supervisor or HR and goes to an elected official. This happens very rarely. I let the elected board member know that he/she may be called as a witness if it ever goes to litigation and they choose to get involved in personnel issues. After that, they defer it back to HR - where it belongs.

"Sam"

Question of ethics?

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