Love Contracts

watrsflo · February 2003

Do any of you have in place anything along the lines of the "Love Contract" referenced in HR Q&A? Employee dating continues to present challenges in our workplace, especially when there's a non-consensual termination to the relationship. I'm afraid in matters of love and war, the slogan, "Just say No!" holds little influence!

Margaret Morford · February 2003

I'm going to weigh in on this since no one else was brave enough. Although I can't imagine how Don D reisited commenting on Love Contracts!

If by love contracts, you mean asking two employees to sign a document acknowledging that they have a consensual (no pun intended) personal relationship, I wouldn't do it. It's a recordkeeping and a privacy invading nightmare. Rather, you should educate your employees every year about what constitues sexual harassment, how to report it and that your organization will investigate all complaints about sexual harassment. This way you do not have to get involved in any employee's personal life until it is "love on the rocks" and one party is complaining that another will not leave them alone. I would pair that with a Non-Fraterization Policy that prohibits any member of management from dating anyone they supervise directly or indirectly. I'll send you a model Non-Fraterization policy if you will e-mail me. I do not recommend regulating dating in the workplace except as it applies to members of management because that's where your greatest exposure is.

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Gillian · February 2003

I didn't see it either. Love happens. My 29 year marriage started at work, or is it 28 years? I'll remember by the time October 23rd rolls around, or is it the 28th? Stick with the sexual harassment and management concentration - that is about all that you can do.

watrsflo · February 2003

I'm amazed that this request received such little response, even though it has almost 90 hits. Is this is a topic of little interest, or one no one really wants to touch? Or, should I conclude most workplaces don't have to deal with this problem?

Gillian · February 2003

I think most people realize that there isn't much that you can do so only deal with it when one has to - sexual harassment mostly.

POPEYE · February 2003

I agree with the above posts. We currently have at least 4 relationships (the one we know about) in our facility. Even one in the same department. As long as the behaviour at work is appropriate and policies followed, as has been said what are you going to do? If there is a parting of ways and things get out of hand in a confrontational way, follow your policies as you would with any other scenario.

Craig B · February 2003

I had a Manager and an Assistant Manager who were involved in a relationship. Both individuals had received previous Sexual harrassment training classes from my company but did not feel their relationship was inappropriate. I did create a consensual relationship agreement and have them sign it as well as seperate them becasue of the conflict their relationship was causing with the employees.

Everything has been fine and the employees have since broken up. If you want a copy of the agreement I drafted let me know.

Margaret Morford · February 2003

How do you handle the complaints from the other people in the department that they are not getting the special treatment that the paramour is getting because they are not sleeping with the manager? Aren't you concerned that they could make a case for being unduly disadvantaged because they are not sleeping with their manager?

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Love Contracts

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