Bereavement Leave

Our company has a defined policy regarding paid bereavement leave. Past practice has been that we require the EE to provide some type of "proof" (obituary, notice from funeral home, etc.) that the EE is actually a survivor of the deceased. Otherwise, we figure we'd have EE's with mothers and fathers dying multiple times. x:'( One of our longtime EE's decided that TODAY is the day to argue about this--how "sick" it is that we would ask him to do this. . .
Just curious--
Does your company ask for proof for paid bereavement? Or are we as "sick" as the EE claims?!

Comments

  • 18 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • We require it. It does sound sick, though. In our handbook we use the term "may" be required, but in all practical applications we just require it so that it does not look like we play favorites with anyone.
  • Since unfortunately you initial assumption may be true (that people will abuse the privilege), I don't think it is sick at all to require proof. But, for a long time employee, a written statement from the employee about the relation might be enough. You will know soon enough if someone is abusing the leave.(I know from personal experience that the airlines require a death certificate to give you a discount rate).

    Good Luck!


  • I only disagree with Theresa on Monday's. I don't think you'd want to treat the long time ee special by not requiring of her what you require of others. I understand the thing about trust and knowing whether or not she's an abuser. But, since when (in this day) can we go with our hunches and common sense? We do require such proof from all production (union) staff, but not from all the rest, all of whom are salaried. Months ago I posted one about the guy in the plant who brought in the funeral home statement (his father's death) with about 12 typos. We decided to verify it. There was no such funeral home (Maverick Funeral Parlor). The number shown was his own cell phone. The only funeral home in that community was Myrick (close enough to Maverick for Government work) but they had nobody named Felicia Prince, who signed the notice. We later learned she was his fiance'. He deserved a severe case of the Gallopin' Revenge for that one. We couldn't inflict that on him, so we just fired him.
  • You are correct Theresa and they also require you to provide the name of the funeral home, address, telephone number, as well as the funeral directors name (and they check it all out). No one ever bats an eye at that request...its saving them money. Requesting proof isn't sick at all. I guess working with the airlines for so many years, you get use to the request and don't find it strange. If you think requesting proof for a funeral is sick....try flying a body home for burial. Now that's sick!!!
  • I agree with Theresa. No, it isn't sick - wouldn't the manufacturer of the TV that this employee just buy require a copy of the warranty if it broke? On the other hand, the customer isn't a long term employee. We would request the proof, just for the file, but if the employee forgot or wanted to make a stink, I don't think that we would make an issue of it. Having repeat behavior on this issue is easily identified is someone is trying to take advantage.
  • We do not require it..don't see it as that big of a deal, but if you do for one, do for all. Was just thinking, in all my years, have never known of anyone to abuse it, then I read Don's post. It takes all kinds I guess. The thing I don't like about our policy is we have to use our sick time. Anywhere else I have been it is above and beyond PTO. Just annoys me that when I work very hard to save sick time, I had to use it. Thanks for enduring my gripe of the day!!
  • Our organization doesn't require "proof" either. But, we did see some abuse. We then defined bereavement leave for "immediate family" Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Son, Daughter. This eliminated those who had their grandmother die four time last year!
  • We don't require proof, and I have never worked at a place that did. My daughter's work requires it, however, and she had to supply the funeral program (or a copy of the notice in the paper...if she was listed as a survivor) this past July when my step-mother died. My daughter received the program at the funeral, but apparently accidentally threw it away with some tissues. I had to give her mine. Fortunately, they just had to see it and I got it back.

    I think it should be seen on a case by case basis. For instance, everyone I work with was aware of the seriousness of the situation with my step-mother. I lost an uncle on Sept. 27th, and everyone I work with was aware he was in the hospital. My co-workers were also aware of my mad scramble to catch a plane to be able to attend his funeral. (My family has had a rough year with many illnesses and deaths.) If I suddenly started talking about a relative no one had ever heard of who died, I could sure see why proof would be required. Or if there had been a rash of deaths in the department, or something else suspicious was going on proof would make sense then too.

    Our bereavement policy says up to 3 days and lists specific family members. The up to 3 days part is considered also on a case by case basis. At first glance I would say being a small company is what helps it work for us, but we borrowed this policy from our owner company who has over 2,000 employees. I think on some issues you must be firm and equal with everyone no matter what, but in the case of a loss of a loved one it can be counter productive to be too firm (as in the case of the offended employee above). For instance, should we just say one day for an uncle no matter what? What if the uncle is someone you only met once compared to the uncle that raised you? It just makes more sense to me to use the "may" word in your policy regarding requiring proof and use common sense and good judgement after that.
  • We also require proof. Either a program from the funeral or an obit. Our policy also defines immediate family member as, "spouse, parent, child, sibling; and the employee's spouse's parent, child or sibling." Which is fine until an employee calls and asks if he can take paid bereavement leave for the death of his brother-in-law, and I have to tell him it depends on whether it's his wife's brother, or his sister's husband. We, of course, will also arrange for unpaid time off for funeral attendance.
  • Working for a hospice organization, my response reflects that philosophy. First of all, hospice workers generally believe that bereavement leave across the nation is woefully lacking.

    In order to encourage healthy grieving, our agency offers 5 full days of paid leave for bereavement across the board -- for full and part time employees -- no questions asked. This is in addition to PTO and sick time. Our policy identifies nine relatives that bereavement leave can be used for.

    And no, we do not require verification or any kind of proof (like an obituary or a memorial tract) and I'm relieved that I don't have to work at place that does. It saddens me to read about the abuse of this necessary benefit in the replies to this post.

    However, I can understand why verification would be necessary for the airlines. Indeed, our agency has had to provide "proof" to the airlines for our grieving family members. But that is unreleated to this post's question, isn't it?
  • And that is why Hospice is one of the finest organizations around!
  • Yeah Hospice Care! Thank you! I will pass your compliment on to our administrator. She'll appreciate hearing it!
  • We maintain an on-line subscription to the local paper. When the employee notifies us of the death, we get a name and watch the local paper to print out an obituary to attach to the time card as proof. We only ask the employee when we cannot obtain the obituary in this manner, but all bereavement leave must be backed up.
  • Christine M:

    Your comment interested me. My uncle passed away in Souther California. Forest Lawn handled the details. The counselor there suggested to my aunt and other family members handling the arrangements that it was a good idea NOT to put an obit in the paper. They said it brought all the crazies out. What will your organization do when the situation there spreads across the country? Isn't it disgusting what some people will do to get an advantage so that now honest hardworking people can't announce to ex-coworkers, etc that someone has died?
  • I don't think it is "sick" to require proof. I think that if a company provides time off with pay for bereavement, then they have the right to request proof of death. We require employees to use their sick time, so I don't see the point in requiring proof for us. We do, however, reserve the right to ask for it in our policies. I worked for a company that required that you list those people in your immediate family, as defined, during new employee orientation and we marked them off when the employee took bereavement leave. We even had a form for the list! It did help keep grandma from dying more than once. Employees didn't seem to mind the list.
  • We do have a bereavement leave policy for defined family members. Ours is a small community and usually someone reports to me that so and so's grandmother died before the staff member ever contacts HR.

    Our policy says "may" require documentation, but we've never asked for it yet. I lost my mother and my sister since I've been here (they lived in another city) and no one said anything but take all the time you need.

    I can see a need for this type of proof if serious abuses occur. We're prepared to ask if we see the need (and ask everyone) but I'm going to avoid that until something or things start happening.
  • I worked for a company that required that you list those people in your
    >immediate family, as defined, during new employee orientation and we
    >marked them off when the employee took bereavement leave. We even had
    >a form for the list! It did help keep grandma from dying more than
    >once.

    Since you no longer work there, I hope you won't be offended to learn that I am adding this example to my list of dumbest HR policies of all times. I would have personally refused to provide a list of my family members who might die so that somebody could track my honesty and make sure none of them died twice. This is very near the top of my list of dumb policies. But, I appreciate your mention of it.

  • As soon as employees discontinue the practice of bringing formal grievances and litigation against companies at the drop of a hat, and for issues of little or no merit, they will free themselves (and ourselves) of such "sick" practices. Until then, a company's failure to institute such policies would potentially jeapordize everyone's position.
    As a society (and a workplace) we've forgotten, we get what we ask for. I politely but firmly discuss how we got to this "sick" point with employees, when they protest such work rules. Most, have never connected the dots prior to our conversation.

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